Switched
by Lady Valmar
Summary: Rodney becomes irritated with a new assistant, Rose Whedon from the Daedulus and after she proves herself competent to him, she ends up accidentally switching bodies with Colonel Sheppard...trouble ensues. Challenge. Complete.
1. Switched 1

Title: Switched

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Adventure, Humor

Rating: T

Beta: Marie-France (Chapter 1,2)

Beta 2: Silverofwingless (improvising, editing)

Archive: FF, SGAHC

Spoilers: Takes place just before Season 2 (Just before Inferno) but all Seasons 1-3 are fair game.

Summary: Rodney becomes irritated with his new assistant, Rose Whedon from the Daedulus and after she proves herself competent to him, she ends up accidentally switching bodies with Colonel Sheppard. Challenge fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters. I only own my character Rose Whedon and my fanfic.

**Notes: ** **Originally** **this was a Challenge by sliverofwingless (a friend of mine). She looked the fic over and helped me out. I chose third person for all characters. **

... **.LV. **...

**Switched **

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

**Song Inspiration:** Flight Feet & Root Hands by Andreas Vollenweider

* * *

"No, of course not!" screamed Rodney, his hands out, a scowl on his face. "I told you to adjust the controls slowly. What part of slowly don't you understand?"

"Look," The woman said pointing at the data pad in his hand, "I did exactly what you asked but for some reason the controls are not responding. It's not my fault."

Ha! Some assistant, he thought grumpily. If anything she was adding to the problem not fixing it.

"Well maybe if you had been paying attention to the controls instead of making goo-goo eyes at the technician this wouldn't have happened!"

The woman, brushed a strand of her reddish-brown hair out of her face and made a hmfph sound.

Rodney gave her the best glare he could muster, for a 5'2", his secondary assistant, Ms. Rose Whedon could be a pain in ass. If he remembered her name correctly but it could have been a Ruth Wheon or something else. He really was so terrible with names. She wore glasses and it was without a doubt she was probably somewhere in her mid twenties. Why the hell he'd approved her for this job, was escaping his mind at the moment.

He'd figured that training would be a bit taxing on his busy schedule but he hadn't figured she would a complete klutz…maybe he was just getting his hopes too high about people.

"Goo-goo eyes?" said the woman, clearly un-amused. "I do not make goo-goo eyes at anybody and for your information I wasn't looking at him…it was someone else. Never mind." She plowed onward not giving him time to consider that statement.

"I monitored the controls and kept an eye on the fluctuations of the power distribution system but it shut down instead of simply stabilizing like it was supposed to do. I can't do anything else. I've got other smaller projects people have put on my shoulders I need to take care of those as well."

Rodney stared for a moment before considering what she had said. "Someone else…but there is only three people here! And…oh…"

"Um…" said the woman, a slight blush creeping up her face before continuing, "I was thinking it might have something to do with that new program Dr. Zelenka input into the interconnecting systems and that is why this area is having these instabilities."

Rodney raised his eyebrows. "Yes well…wait Zelenka?" Rodney thought for a moment…Radek. He snapped his fingers and picked up his tablet. "Ah…just keep monitoring the program and see if you can't bypass whatever he inputted. I'll be right back."

* * *

--

Ms. Rose Whedon raised a hand to her forehead and wiped at the sweat forming there. It was barely her first week here on Atlantis. Fresh from the Daedulus as the saying goes.

The change in scenery was really worth the wait in her opinion but being stuck on board that tin can for 18 days had been horrible. At least now she was finally free of it and that was a little exhilarating. Too bad she didn't get much time to spend in her room which faced the best pier on Atlantis or so she'd been told at least five times since she'd gotten the room.

She knew that for all the positives that came along with a job like this, which was a fantasy she could never have imagined existed, she knew there would be some negatives. The first came in a package labeled Dr. Rodney McKay. She was his secondary assistant for when his other one was off world.

She'd met his main assistant but the woman seemed always on edge that Rose found it hard to stick around any longer in her company than necessary.

The second negative? The moment she'd been introduced to Dr. McKay, he began jumping down her back about something that wasn't even her fault. In her eyes, she'd tried everything and so far she just didn't know what else to do?

At any rate, her repairs to the system hadn't worked yet. She'd done a variety of adjustments and attempts at sealing off the damaged programs from the main console but even that didn't seem to work.

Rose figured that there might simply be too much damage to get the system stabilized. There was also a weird error message that kept popping up in the coding about interference from another program; the same one, that a Dr. Zelenka implemented to help keep the other interconnecting systems from receiving the same power fluctuations as this one had.

She sighed and looked around, not quite as scenic as being in the main lab area, one of the piers or in her own room but it had a certain 'Indiana Jones' type of feel to the area. Of course she wouldn't have been forced to work in this section if it hadn't of been for someone called Kavanagh who might have caused an explosion resulting in water damage.

Just her luck. Her idea of a good time was not down a dark, malfunctioning area of Atlantis though she should have been more appreciative that she was on Atlantis at all, she couldn't help begrudging where she was. Why the hell had Dr. McKay wanted this area fixed so badly anyways. It was a small lab to begin with barely useful information in comparison to the labs they worked in currently.

In her opinion the best solution would be to shut down the area and move everything to the bigger lab that hadn't been ruined by the explosion or the water. Personally, it felt like she was just wasting time on behalf of Dr. McKay's eccentricities.

She decided if there wasn't anything she could do, she would take a break. Rose sat down and took out her bag of chips, she had smuggled from the mess hall. She had been told by one of her friends, a military wife, that she should make good with the cook because sometimes they would be more willing to help you out if you were nice to them. So far it seemed the friend had been right about that part. It was a rarity to have any comfort food on Atlantis so she took it as a compliment that the cook had been so generous.

Rose stretched and looked over the data pad again if only she could just figure out what was wrong… She wasn't the most patient person in the world but when she set her mind to something she didn't give up on it. She looked up as a shadow flickered close to her leg. She brought her eyes up to a small window that looked over the water's surface near where the sun had begun to set. It was just beautiful the way the oranges and yellows danced on the curling waves.

For a moment a wave of home sickness hit and she thought of her parents. She really missed everybody she knew back home and her pets, a cat named Sketch and two rats, Gigabyte and Romi.

Everything she'd known was how far away again?

And the fact that she couldn't tell them anything about her work made it worse but…in retrospect she had to admit the tradeoff was worth it. Just the concept of aliens or space ships or Atlantis was mind boggling to her. The most she could remember of history or art history about Atlantis was that it had been referred to in two different dialogue's of Plato's and she could remember that the story of Atlantis had been conveyed to Solon by Egyptian priests.

That was all she could remember right now her more pressing concern with history was catching up on old Sg. 1 reports and the current past three years here in the Pegasus Galaxy. Truly this was a dream she never could have guessed existed.

Rose had to admit the concept of Wraith didn't really scare her but then she'd never faced one either, been captive of one or been fed on. Certainly the idea of a white haired, dark skinned alien that wore leather and had cat like grace made her hormones jump more than anything else. Ah…she really had to stop writing Dark Elf fanfiction in her spare time.

She brought up the data pad for the second time and was relieved that Dr. McKay had caught her doing something useful instead of staring off into space. My god…his hair was really lovely. Then she chided herself for thinking that. How could she like the guy? He was an arrogant, condescending jerk but damn he was kind of adorable in spite of all that.

* * *

--

Rodney had just returned from a nasty fight with Radek about implementing programs without his permission and was in no mood for another round with this new trainee. Oh god why couldn't he remember her name? Rose? Ryan? Ruth? Rodney gave up trying to figure out her name and settled for simply stalking over and checking the tablet sitting next to her. That was when he saw the bag of chips she'd hastily put away in a brown bag nearby.

"Were those chips?"

The woman hesitated. "Uh…maybe…why?"

Rodney was about to ask her for some when he realized that right about now, knowing her name would be useful. Why did he have to be so bad with names anyways? He scanned her casually seeing if maybe she had her name on the brown bag or something.

"Uh…Dr…I well…"

"Here," she said, her brown eyes warming slightly, "You can have the rest and it's Rose. Never mind the last name. I don't like standing on protocol, after all I am your assistant."

Rodney smiled and well anyone willing to share wasn't all that bad right? Taking the bag from her he stuffed a few chips into his mouth before he realized they were really spicy.

Spitting them out, he glared at her. "You gave me…hot chips?" snapped Rodney, rushing to find a water bottle being handed to him by Rose.

"Sorry…I didn't think you'd have such a reaction to it. I tend to like spice in my food," said Rose, scratching her neck and shrugging. "I didn't think it was that spicy," she annunciated spicy with her fingers.

Rodney gulped down the water before glaring at her again. "Yes well…you could have warned me!"

"I said I was sorry."

* * *

--

Rose learned pretty quickly to divert the conversation to something else in order to stop him from insulting her so when he started in on her about the chips she chose to talk about something else. "So um…Dr. McKay…did you talk to Dr. Zelenka?"

She wasn't exactly sure if it was good idea to bring it up but then she'd rather have him ranting on about somebody else than on her. It's not like she couldn't handle taking criticism, depending on who was doing the critic. It was just she was a really sensitive person and tended to get upset more easily.

Hey she was working on it. It was just really hard for her when somebody she'd just barely met began insulting her. She just found people like that offensive. Maybe this strange, new environment was making it difficult to adjust.

"Yes well…it was his program so it wasn't your fault," said Dr. McKay, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, before turning around to pick up the tablet.

Rose smiled well he wasn't a complete monster, at least it seemed that way. Then she felt the smile drop a little as her gaze caught on his heart underwear peaking out of his pants. Okay this was a new low even for her but it wasn't like she had any other eye candy. Rose shuddered internally, Dr. McKay was a lot of things…cute maybe but eye candy? How could she think that? Jeez he was twice her age right?

Ah well if she was going to be stuck working on this damn console she might as well have a little fun it as she couldn't do that with any of the actual 'hotties' on Atlantis. She'd yet to see this Colonel Sheppard that some of the lab girls had been discussing over lunch. She was still pondering whether she might have glimpsed him and just didn't remember when Dr. McKay turned around.

Belatedly, Rose realized her eyes were still posed at his lower regions intensely and if that wasn't bad enough she had a smile plastered on her face. She looked up embarrassed and away quickly, swiping at the drool that had decided to make its way down her chin.

* * *

--


	2. Switched 2

… **.LV.** …

**Switched **

**Part 2**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

**Song Inspiration**: The Need to Be Naked [Thunderpuss Remix] by Amber

* * *

_Friday_

John Sheppard strolled down another hall way and yawned. His team had spent most of the day on a planet that had been devastated by Wraith and Rodney had found a new toy there they'd brought back. He figured Rodney was probably working on it right now. Which meant there wasn't much for him to do until tomorrow's mission. He looked up and was surprised to see Rodney walking brusquely past people. He didn't look happy at all.

There was a scowl on Rodney's face and he had his tablet gripped hard in his hand as he stopped to snap at one of his staff. John didn't need further warning that now was not a good time to go bug him but damn it was fun and he was bored. He would go to their game room but he really wasn't in the mood for it right now.

John walked over to Rodney after a more deflated technician departed and said, "Rodney?"

What he got was a stony glare. "Colonel."

"So what did the machine do? Bad mouth you? Or…"

Rodney took a deep breath. "No…more like my new assistant Ryan…Rose something. As of right now she's fired."

"Oh really? You have a new assistant what happened to Miko?"

"She still works for me. I swear…this other assistant is a monster I'm telling you. I've never met a more infuriating person in my entire life. I was trying to help show her how to fix one of the consoles and she verbally assaulted me. I shouldn't have to work with this kind of a hostile environment. So as of right now she's going back to Earth as soon as the Daedulus arrives."

"Ah I see, you said something nasty and she stood up for herself so because you didn't like it you're going to get even by firing her."

"No…I'm not getting even. The woman is a complete jerk!"

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "Jerk? Well that's kind harsh even for you Rodney."

"Yeah well…there's a whole lot of where that came from."

"Why? What else did she do to you, eat your lunch?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Well she made me eat hot chips…I nearly ended up in the infirmary, then there's the console that she acts like she can't fix and there's the attitude. So yeah she's fired. Now do you mind I've got a lot of important work to do?"

Sheppard smiled. "Wow sounds like a real charmer. I've got to meet this assistant. By the way, why do you have two personal assistants anyways?"

"She's not my assistant. Well she was my secondary for when Miko goes off world but…remember fired?" Rodney said, scowling. "And no don't even think about… She's not even your type."

"Right… Well when you're done getting your revenge I'll be…"

"What? I told you I'm not taking my revenge out on her. She's too much of a liability to handle. She doesn't even have the knowledge to back up her credentials."

"Well not everyone can be as smart as you Rodney and for the record it's petty just to fire her over a disagreement." Sheppard grinned, "See you later Rodney." He quickly sauntered off before Rodney could reply.

He could hear Rodney sputtering and didn't bother turning back. As far as he was concerned Rodney deserved a little snark, for all the snark he gave out. Sheppard made his way to the mess hall on that pleasant thought. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as he got in line. So Rodney had gotten bested in a argument, that was a little impressive considering most of the staff he'd seen hadn't stood up to Rodney well except for Radek or Kavanagh. He really should take a stroll by Rodney's lab just to see this assistant.

But knowing what Miko looked like he could only imagine what this other assistant must look like. She was probably geeky and lanky. Although there were scientists like Esperita, Sheppard smiled as she walked by to join some other female techs nearby. Maybe this assistant was cute?

Sheppard reached for a turkey sandwich, a can of mountain dew and a Jell-O cup. Once he had it in hand he looked around and saw Ronon and Teyla chatting a few tables away. He went to join them and couldn't help the grin.

"Colonel?"

"You won't believe what I just found out…"

* * *

--

**Very Late – **_Friday almost Saturday_

After hours working on that blasted console, Rose was about to give up on it. It was working and the area finally had power, but still she suspected that Dr. McKay was not happy with the results. Rose sighed, the console was finally powered up but the systems connected to it were now experiencing power fluctuations.

It wasn't that she didn't have the credentials, as Dr. McKay had put it before stomping out when she'd yelled at him, but that she just simply wasn't familiar with these types of systems. They were similar to Earth computers but had some things that she had to be taught in order to be able to perform her job to the best of her ability.

So, tonight Rose decided she'd stay up to see if there wasn't something she was missing. Dr. McKay had been kind enough to let her keep her job after that outburst so she felt a little obligated to do something with the console and the small lab. After all this was kind of a test to see what she knew.

Rose sighed maybe she just needed to get more sleep. Yesterday had been a bad day but she could only take so much of his attitude. She knew she should have just told him that she needed to eat and get some sleep and come back to the console in the morning but she'd kept her mouth shut.

She should have just said something why didn't she? Rose sighed…once again she'd let herself go until she couldn't take it anymore. She had to admit she had a short fuse for people with bad behavior despite the whole nice routine, even cute ones. She winced as she rolled over the events in her mind. She'd yelled until she'd had no more energy left and by then Dr. McKay had stopped saying anything and he had just stomped out.

She really hadn't meant to say all those things…it was probably that time again. Rose shook her head yeah it was getting close; thankfully the infirmary had a good supply of feminine products. At least she'd tried to apologize even though he didn't want to hear it.

She stretched and turned back to her personal laptop which had a music program, a Microsoft word document and the programs that all of their Dell laptops had for work running. She wasn't worried though, sure it was quite a bit of programs but her laptop was a quad-core with all the latest software and hardware she could get in it before she'd been shipped out on the Daedulus.

It'd been hard to get them to allow her to take her laptop along but eventually her superiors had conceded. Although now if and when, she went back to Earth she wouldn't be able to take her laptop with her just anywhere. It had classified information on it after all.

She checked her watch after another round of tests and failures she gave it up. It was almost Saturday after all so she looked through her list of games. She had Never Winter Nights, some flash games and Half Life 2. She'd wanted to install Elder Scrolls Oblivion but she had a rule that she only put about two games on her computer at one time. Finally she decided on Half-Life 2 and entered the steam program. It asked if she wanted to start offline and she clicked yes.

True Atlantis had an online system it just wasn't connected to Earth's internet system so it would be pointless. After randomly shooting things called zombies, which were really just people who had these weird looking crabs on their heads, she managed to get to the chapter called "We don't go to Ravenholm". She spent some time shooting zombies with mattresses and paint cans in the area called Town Square, before she saved the game. Around 5 am she felt her eyes closing of their own accord and gave up resisting it.

* * *

--

**Early** -_ Saturday_

Rodney trudged down to his lab. His eyebrows scrunched together, his mouth in a scowl. How dare that woman do that? Say those things to him? Then Sheppard had to accost him in the hall way about assistants and the machine they had brought back from today's mission! He was an Astrophysicist and a valuable member of the expedition in Atlantis and she had neither right nor any body else to pester him like this.

He sighed, before jabbing the power button, to his laptop. If there was one thing he was not going to take, it was his supposed new assistant making him look like a fool.

Once his laptop was on, Rodney went through several file folders on his system before he brought up a list of complaints to type up on this woman. Wait…Rose was her name? Yes it had to be. Finally he remembered. His fingers flying across the keyboard, he typed up a sort of evaluation until his vision was blurry. After yawning, he stretched and got up.

Quickly, slapping his sore thigh muscle with his hand, he saved the document on his computer and shut it down. It was almost 5:30 am in the morning and he knew he should be getting some sleep but he decided he might as well get back to the console. It was Saturday and even though he wanted to work on the machine they'd brought back from the mission, he wasn't getting any head way on it either. Rodney went back, deciding he could if he could just get that lab functioning properly then maybe he could better concentrate on the machine.

When he got there, he found her fast asleep and a laptop in front of her with something on its screen called Half Life 2. Frowning, he approached, careful of where he stepped. Once he had managed to get a closer look he realized that the laptop was different than the standard computers given to all personnel. It was some kind of custom built laptop that had a sticker on it that said 'Be Cheeky!' and a patch taped on the other side of a black cat with the words naughty on it. But that wasn't the interesting part, the thing called Half Life 2 was a computer game.

So she had been playing a game. Rodney frowned, she was staying up to play a game, instead of working on the console, after she had just yelled at him for keeping her up so late on Thursday night and then snapping at him yesterday morning!

He wasn't sorry at all. Rodney decided he wouldn't bother trying to be nice and wake her up so she could sleep in her own bed. No. Not after this. He should have just fired her…he really should have but Sheppard had to go and make him feel guilty about it.

He went over to the console and began checking it. No power fluctuations. That was strange. Looking over at the datapad, he found some notes detailing what she had done to make it work. It was a little roughly done and there were many areas in which he felt she could have smoothed out the fluctuations more easily but she had stopped them and without his help.

He still didn't know her all that well as his assistant Miko. To be honest he wasn't sure this new assistant's name was Rose or not but then he couldn't get most people's names straight so he was glad she gave him a name easy to remember. Jeez why did people have to have such complex names. Meredith Rodney McKay. Except for his first name, his name was easy to remember and you couldn't really confuse or misspell it..._unless you're an idiot,_ Thought Rodney.

He turned back to look over the trainee, she looked kind of peaceful despite the trail of drool on her sleeve.

_Maybe I am being hasty in firing her_, thought Rodney. He jumped, when her hand suddenly and randomly slapped the keyboard, taking her game off pause. She was having a dream of some sort because she was muttering.

_Should I wake her?_ Rodney approached but she didn't startle. He could have sworn her telling him that she was a light sleeper. Her game off pause he could see some kind of a digital-looking man with a weird beige creature attached to his head and blood all over his shirt, approaching the screen. He was screaming and sort of ambling.

Rodney was curious so he carefully picked up the laptop and pressed the escape key. Putting the game back on pause. He had played a few video games and computer games when he had been on Earth but he'd never heard of this one. In fact he was currently playing a game with Sheppard but they had to keep the whole thing quiet.

From what he could tell of Rose's game, the graphics weren't that bad and it was a first person, as he could see the gun floating in the middle of the screen. He found a paper sitting near the laptop with instructions on the controls, it had coffee stains and something that looked like those hot chips. It was a bit worn but it was still readable. He went over the controls and then unpaused. After a few failed attempts he managed to shoot off the shotgun at the man-creature's head. Killing it.

Rodney felt a thrill pass through him. He had never played a game like this before, it was kind of fun. He usually didn't think much of shoot-em-up kind of games but there was something kind of thrilling about it.

Intrigued, he sat down and began to play around with the controls. He learned how to use something called the Gravity gun, which allowed the player, Gordon Freeman, to pick up random objects in the game or zap them (causing the object to move). Of course he knew no such thing could exist in real life, if it had, he could only imagine what kind of antics or troubles his science division could get themselves into.

Eventually, as he continued throughout the section of her game he realized that the gun could pick up all kinds of things including old mattresses, which he used to shoot another man-creature when it came ambling his way.

_The mattress actually killed it?_ Thought Rodney. _How amusing!_

He was on a roll now. Until something fast ran towards him and began taking his life points away until he died. By the time he had finally gotten to a good part, he heard footsteps and turned to see Sheppard approaching.

"Well Rodney…you look really busy."

"Uh..."

* * *

--

Rose must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, she was waking up to Dr. McKay explaining why he was playing her game to somebody. She startled when she heard the guy ask about her.

She opened her eyes, to the hottest guy she had ever seen on Atlantis, well besides Major Lorne. Never mind the fact that Dr. McKay was cradling her laptop and attempting to reload from a save point on her game! HER GAME! Nobody messes with her saved games! NOBODY!

Okay maybe she was really possessive but she really hated sharing her games with people. Perhaps it had something to do with her only child stance. Sigh...her mom did spoil her a bit. No gold jewelry or expensive electronics but she did have more than most people in her high school probably had.

She wasn't sure what to do first, squee, giggle, blush or yell at Dr. McKay or the newcomer. After a few minutes in which she tried to shake off the grogginess, she managed to squeeze out 'Morning' at the two men.

She couldn't help giving the newcomer a once over…okay maybe a twice over. He was her personal eye candy for the morning.

He introduced himself, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. So this was the head of the military contingent on Atlantis. She smiled, the lab techs hadn't been lying at all. She must have drooled or something on her hand because he made a face when she stretched it out to him. She quickly wiped it off on her jacket and then she did something really embarrassing. As she stood up, she managed to trip over a cable and somehow, through her usual klutziness, knock the Colonel off his feet.

To her disappointment she ended up landing on his feet which was a less then appealing place to land on him in her opinion but then it did give her a good vantage point. She couldn't help it and looked up to see his crotch. She smiled then realized it was probably a very stupid thing to do and got up quickly.

"Sorry!" She managed to squeeze out but it must have sounded more like a teapot whistling than a sorry because he just climbed to his feet and shrugged.

She also, must have turned beet red because he was sort of grinning at her. She couldn't tell if he was upset about it or not but he didn't seem to be. She couldn't help apologizing again before they got in some introductions and the Colonel cracked a joke about getting the drop on him.

Rose sighed, as Dr. McKay started to get frustrated with her laptop. Finally she gave up all pretenses of and helped show him a few things on the game.

"So I'm not fired right?" Rose asked finally after awhile.

Dr. McKay looked up from the laptop to her. When he got a cleared throat and glare from Sheppard he nodded. "Not fired. Now how do you save?"

Rose showed him and took up residence next to him with Colonel Sheppard peering over their shoulders at the game. She had to admit that having the Colonel so close made her nervous and when she got back on the game to show Dr. McKay something she got killed a few times.

She eventually forgot about the argument but she still felt bad about it so when she had the chance casually, she said she hoped there was no hard feelings about the incident Thursday night and early Friday morning. Dr. McKay in turn, mumbled something and yelled at the game as a little crab looking creature poisoned him. The Colonel, she noted, didn't look surprised at her admission.

"It's not fair! That was not fair!" Dr. McKay suddenly screamed at her computer, until she reminded him that that was what a saved game was for.

The Colonel laughed at both of them as she struggled to get her laptop back. Rose learned quickly that Dr. McKay was a nasty gamer. He grouches, complains and is sometimes physically violent. He even tried to remove her hands as she was shooting several zombies. His excuse…she was wasting _his _ammo. Tiff! The Colonel pointed out why didn't he take his own advice off world and that it was just a game.

Dr. McKay looked ready to go on one of his rants but the Colonel just shrugged if off. She could tell Colonel Sheppard was actually serious but she couldn't help laughing at them. They were both so funny!

She didn't even have to worry about the lab because it was done. It was clear she could still keep her job. Rose yawned as Dr. McKay finally gave up playing at 9:30 and the Colonel took over. She re-started the game for him and helped him learn the controls. While having Dr. McKay shouting intermittedly "No, not like that. You're doing it wrong! You're wasting health packs. Look out!"

Rose was pleased she had both of them hooked which meant she could have more time to spend with the Colonel.

She watched as the Colonel played and Dr. McKay whined about him hogging the computer. It was just so hilarious and thrilling.

Rose watched as the two of them traded off all morning until it was almost lunch time and by then she'd made a deal with them by making a schedule for who would use the laptop and for how long. Rose knew if something were to happen to her laptop that was beyond her ability to fix, she could always convince Dr. McKay to help out with it, which made the deal that much sweeter.

It still didn't make her friends with Dr. McKay or the Colonel but it was a start. Maybe eventually she would get to the point of being friends with Dr. McKay.

--


	3. Switched 3

**A/N**: Just bare with me. This section gives you a little more about Rose then I switch back to Sheppard and McKay. Takes place just after Inferno. Season 2.

* * *

… **.LV.** …

**Switched **

**Part 3**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

**A few days later**

"Whedon? I need you to check those panels. Jenkins, get moving what are you still doing here?"

Rose watched the woman flip Gill the bird before leaving. "Later sweet heart."

His mouth opened and closed like a Crow's beak. "Well fuck you too Jenkins. So Rose you gunna stand there all day?"

"Wow this is a real professional atmosphere but sure…boss," Rose said, rolling her eyes. He'd been like that ever since Dr. McKay had left him in charge. The man was a walking ego maniac.

"Oh don't give me bullshit too Rose okay? He left me in charge so just do it," Gill said walking past her with a tablet pc in hand and bumping her with his shoulder.

He was such a jerk in her opinion and never mind his pathetic attempts at picking up women. This had to be Dr. McKay's way of punishing her for what she'd done. For crying out loud why couldn't men just let things be? And they said women couldn't let things go? Ha! Men were trouble as far as she was concerned. She returned her eyes to the panel in front of her and rubbed her forehead.

She reached for a tool and froze as her com beeped. Oh great it was probably Gill trying to hassle her some more. She snapped into the com. "Yes?"

"Wow such hostility what did Gill do now?"

Rose shook her head and picked up the tool. "Kitty it's just you. Yeah he's giving all of us a hard time. The man is picking up the slack of Dr. McKay I swear. Hey ah where the hell is Dr. Zelenka anyways?"

"He's up here working on different things. Well it's good to hear you haven't lost your humor about this. Listen I…don't go spreading it around but ah…there's a hive ship headed towards Atlantis and I just got word that we have a new ship or something. The Orion? Anyways I just wanted to let you know because I know how you like to be kept updated."

"Oh snap."

"Very funny Rose."

"Eh I thought it was. Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. Now I've got to get back to work but just…keep this quiet until Dr. Weir announces it okay?"

"Got it. Later Kit-Kat."

"Very funny Rosey Posey."

She took a breath. How could a hive ship know where Atlantis was? Oh right that idiotic experiment on that Wraith… Maybe she was just being paranoid. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it sounded after all it was only one ship. At least Kitty had apprised her of the situation even though technically Kitty wasn't supposed to do that.

Rose let her eyes wander around the room she was in and she settled on two consoles that she hadn't gotten to yet. Dr. McKay had gone through all the stored files on the terminals but it was mostly research notes on devices. Dr. McKay and Dr. Zelenka had already dealt with most of the files on their spare time but the files left over were given to a small team dedicated to just reading and going through all the data.

Rose smiled at least she wasn't on the Daedulus. That ship for all its wonders had felt like some kind of compact metal can. She wasn't really claustrophobic but without fresh outdoor air, it had made her feel constrained. It was really nice to be on Atlantis with all the clean ocean air, for the most part the weather was wonderful and she never really felt bored.

She scanned through another index of Ancient research notes using the tablet's references on Ancient language to translate it and discovered an indexing on something that had to do with a device. It didn't go into details what it did but it seemed important. "Hey…Janice you know that inventory list he gave us of the devices, I need it," Rose called to a woman bent over a console; she had a small pen in hand.

"Yeah…ah here."

Rose took the small pad and looked for the corresponding number. She stretched, it was there but both Science department heads hadn't gotten to the end of the list. It was probably because of the Taranian people and then this Wraith ship on the way.

She made a note about what corresponded where and which ones needed to be looked over by either Dr. McKay or Dr. Zelenka. A crackling on the radio and some whispering, froze everyone where they were. "Okay…I understand," Gill said back into his radio and looked up.

"Gather round people. We've got some things to discuss."

"What's going on?" Rose asked.

He blinked a couple of times and frowned. "Well apparently we have a new ship…Dr. McKay wants to take a few of you to work on it."

They waited as he pulled his palm pilot from his pocket and began writing on it with a stylus. It was a good three minutes before anybody bothered to ask him and then only to be waved off by him. Eventually Jenkins made a tsking sound with her tongue and crossed her arms.

Rose watched as Jenkins strode over to Gill. "Well…so who's going?"

Gill rolled his large brown eyes. "Jenkins you need to be quiet."

"Excuse me? I was just asking a valid question asshole there's no need to snap at me."

Everyone present rolled their eyes because Gill was an asshole and Jenkins liked to argue. It also wasn't the first time the two of them had gotten into an argument over something. Rose didn't like getting involved so she didn't bother to step in but Alisha did. She was an acquaintance of Rose.

"People could we get back to the issue at hand? Gill, Dr. McKay doesn't want us standing around while he needs people to help on the new ship. So who has he sent there?"

"Whatever…" Jenkins said and walked back to her console.

He closed his mouth and looked around the room. "Alright…Alisha has a point and you're going by the way. Okay…Whedon, Stevens. Jones. Baker. Brighton. All of you go. Now."

Rose swallowed. "But are you sure he wants…me on that ship?"

Gill smirked at her. "Scared? Look baby doll you'll do fine. Now get your ass moving."

Rose took a deep breath, handed her list to someone else and walked past him. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of a nasty reply because he would enjoy it too much. As soon as he knew he'd gotten through, that would make him happy.

On her way down the hallway she heard yelling, it was Janice and Gill at it again.

"Sounds like love doesn't it?"

"What?" Rose turned around as she kept walking. When she realized it was Alisha she raised her eyebrows and turned back.

"You know those two need to just get it out of their system," Alisha said, "So looks like this new ship needs some repairs. I wonder why we're being sent up though. Daedulus personal are probably better suited for this but I guess I shouldn't complain."

"I know what you mean on all accounts."

"I'm just happy to get away from the demonic Olsen twins."

Well she had to hand it to Alisha, she had a point. She nodded in agreement and took her place beside her.

"Good luck," said one of the technicians supervising. As the group assembled and waited to be beamed up.

Before she had a chance to blink, they were being beamed up and onto the bridge of the new ship, the Orion. Rose looked around her and saw Dr. McKay standing near a console, a scowl on his face and a tablet pc in hand.

"Alright people finally. Whedon, I want you to check some consoles down that hallway. Alisha take shields. Stevens take the console next to her. Brighton work on the hyper drive. Jones take drones and Baker help him. Come on people move."

Rose swallowed hard, there he was, Colonel Sheppard, sitting in the command chair. He looked kind of smug and happy almost. When he turned and saw her, he nodded his head and smiled.

"Hi…" Rose said, timidly. It would take a long time to get over how he made her feel she figured.

"Whedon get down to that console. We don't have all day."

"Right Dr. McKay," Rose said and gave a small wave to the Colonel before reluctantly making her to the console.

* * *

--

Rodney rolled his eyes as he watched his people merge with the few from the Daedulus, he had taken Colonel Caldwell's offer and whisked a couple people off the Daedulus but he rather preferred his own people.

He didn't get much of a chance to analyze the condition of the ship but he knew without a doubt that there was no way that this ship was going to do anything other than be a sitting duck as the popular analogy went.

He prowled the ship checking on the various consoles and the people working on them before returning to the beginning to do the process all over again. There was a lot of it he could do on his own, maybe all of it but he was only one man and he trusted that his crew knew what they were doing. At least he hoped so.

He checked on Alisha again at least he thought it was her name. She had gotten shields almost up. He gave her the thumbs up thing and moved on to the next console again. It seemed like a never ending cycle. He could only hope the hive ship coming was just checking them out as Elizabeth had suggested.

Again he did another circuit working along side Alisha when he came to her console again, they barely managed to get shields up when he realized there was a console he hadn't hit in all his passes. He made his way over to it, after leaving instructions with Alisha on how to bypass some of the bad circuits.

"Rose…show me what you got." He brought up his tablet.

As she went over the data she'd been working on, he noticed for the first time her hands shaking. It wasn't that bad but it was making it difficult for her to point to the results on the screen without her finger moving.

"Rose…are you sick or something?"

She looked up as she attempted to bypass another system, not as important, to feed power to more vital systems. "No why?"

"You hand is shaking."

She flushed. "I'm just nervous."

Rodney huffed. "Just ah…breathe or something. I'll be back. Remember we're doing this to get this ship operational in case the hive decides to go on the offensive."

"Okay…"

Whatever the problem was he didn't have time for people not up to the job. Maybe it was a mistake asking for her but he'd seen her work on that console back in the smaller lab. He just hoped it wasn't a fluke.

On his way back to another console, Elizabeth contacted them on the progress of the ship.

* * *

--

Rodney paced with the tablet in hand as they talked to her, he let Sheppard do most of the talking because he was a little busy.

"Well, we're out of sensor range and all that, but whether or not we're ready to fight is a whole other story."

Rodney looked up. "Getting this ship up and running in under a month is a miracle."

He grabbed another tablet and went towards the back near the consoles. They expected him to perform like he was some kind of monkey and he felt it necessary that they were aware of how difficult it was to get even shields up.

Sheppard shifted in his seat. "Do we start the beatification now or later?"

"Rodney, if the hive opens up on us, I want Orion's drones," Elizabeth explained.

He understood, he really did but there was only so much his team and he could do to get those up and running. Besides it wasn't that simple, there were other systems needed besides drones and so they had to get them all up in order for the Orion to be effective.

"Which means we're gonna need the hyperdrive to get in position," Sheppard could be really pushy sometimes, Rodney swore.

He turned around and sighed. "Which means we'll need shields, which means you want everything!"

Sheppard had a slight smirk. "I like everything! Can we do it or not?"

He gave his best sarcastic reply. "Well, don't get up!" Rodney clicked his fingers at Alisha. " Shields!"

She didn't hesitate and quickly showed him her tablet as he looked at it, he turned to John. "Yes."

He turned to Brighton. "Jump into position…" As the tablet was held up for him to see, he frowned and threw John's back a dark look. "Mmmmaybe."

Rodney turned to Brighton. "Release the drones." The man shook his head. "Probably not."

Sheppard just had to point out the obvious. "Well, it's pointless to get in position if we can't fire."

Rodney sighed in annoyance again. "Ya'know, let's talk about it for a really long time – that'll help for sure."

He glared as Sheppard told Elizabeth, "Rodney's doing everything inhumanly possible to be ready.

--


	4. Switched 4

… **.LV.** …

**Switched **

**Part 4**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

Sheppard couldn't stand the silence. So far he hadn't heard what was going on and that made him nervous. Finally he gave in and asked her nervously, "You could be a little more chatty, Elizabeth."

"I'm sorry – we're just waiting for them to make the next move."

He traded looks with Rodney as a male voice came over the speaker. "We know you are there. We mean you no harm. Please respond."

Elizabeth asked. "John, are you hearing this?"

"We mean you no harm. There is no point in hiding, Doctor Weir. We know you are there. We mean you no harm. Please respond."

Sheppard closed his eyes briefly. "Is that who I think it is?"

"He's addressing me by name. I think we can assume its Michael."

He couldn't help agreeing when Caldwell responded over radio. "You don't actually intend to respond?"

"Why not?" Elizabeth asked in response. John had to fight to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes Elizabeth let her diplomacy take on levels that went beyond his reasoning.

"Where do you want me to start?" Sheppard nodded to Colonel Caldwell's response.

"I think we can safely say our cover is blown." Elizabeth explained.

"I wouldn't jump to that conclusion."

"The message is from Michael, Colonel."

Sheppard frowned as Dex responded. "They know we're here."

"But they don't know exactly where we are." Caldwell pointed out.

Finally John couldn't take it anymore and spoke. "He's right. Answer them and we guarantee the first shot won't miss."

"Teyla?"

"Any attempt on my part to connect with Michael will confirm our location as surely as if you answer by radio."

John nodded again as Rodney went back to another console with a few of his crew. Then to his surprise Rodney piped up. "I recommend you open a secure channel to the hive via the Daedalus. That way they won't be able to pinpoint Atlantis' position."

"And we can always turn the shield on."

John liked Rodney's plan. "I believe we have enough combined firepower to take out a single hive if we need to." He felt it was important to let Elizabeth know that.

"Have you ever heard of a Wraith behaving this way?"

Ronon gave a resounding. "No."

Then Teyla added. "Nor have I."

He waited patiently as Elizabeth replied. "Right. Let's hear what they have to say."

* * *

--

Rose sighed as she listened to the conversation going on. This was way too much drama for her and it was starting to wear her nerves thin. She knew this was the wrong job for her but on the same hand she felt a wave of excitement wash over her.

It was difficult to maintain her concentration on the console in front of her when her nerves were all over the place. As soon as Rodney told them that Major Lorne and Dr. Zelenka would be replacing him and Colonel Sheppard, it was too quick for her to do anything like asking him to go back to Atlantis. Once Rodney announced it, they were beamed up almost immediately afterwards. Rose hated being stuck on this ship, she just had a gut feeling that something would go wrong.

So stuck on board the ship, Rose did her best not to think about what had happened or what might happen as a result. She listened as Alisha talked with Brighton and Dr. Zelenka gave instructions on what he thought they could utilize or scrap etc. When the order came for Lorne to park the Orion out of sensor range, Rose walked back into the control room to work on the drones console along side the others.

It was irritating not knowing what was going on back in Atlantis. From what she gathered they were having a meeting with the Wraith and Michael. It was so strange to think that these things were created by the Ancients. Maybe not knowingly but still… Take some bugs and human DNA combine them and presto Wraith.

Rose shuddered, how exactly did they reproduce anyways? Maybe she really didn't want to know.

It also felt strange to think how Atlantis had worked so hard to fight off the Wraith and now they were having a sit down with them in the office. Rose had never been one to take sides but in this situation she felt it was better to shoot first and ask questions later. Luckily she wasn't military and she wasn't in charge.

When it came to politics or things like this Rose was very stern and clear in her opinions on things. Rose always tried to see both sides of an issue but she also knew some times one just has to take a side.

Rose sighed as Alisha waved her over. "I need you to go over the data pad."

"Okay?"

Alisha sighed, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Hey…no Gill so don't worry. Okay just read off each item on the list and I will check to see if their up and running."

Rose nodded. "Okay…bypass secondary system."

"Check."

* * *

--

**Five minutes Later**

They had only four more items to check and Rose was feeling better. By staying busy she wasn't able to think about the possibility of the ship getting hit or somehow blowing up.

Rose blinked as Alisha asked. "Rose…are you paying attention?"

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"Hey…we don't have time for daydreaming girl. Oh…"

They both froze as Major Lorne walked up to the front consoles and talked into his radio. "Do you think something has happened?"

Alisha sighed. "Well whatever it is we need to get these systems up and operational. Come on."

Rose crossed her arms protectively around her chest and was surprised to see Dr. Zelenka standing on the bridge of the ship after a flash of teleport light. "Dr. Zelenka?"

"Rose…"

"What's going on?"

Major Lorne turned to greet Zelenka before looking at Rose. "Were following the Daedulus."

"So I'm guessing things didn't go so well."

Alisha slapped her shoulder lightly. "Yeah so we need to step it up double time."

The ship sets off and they begin working on the systems for weapons as quickly as possible. The systems were highly unstable and some too damaged to be repaired still they worked on it as best they could.

The next thing Rose knew she was being thrown to the deck of the ship as a weapon impacted with its side. She struggled to get to her feet as more weapons hit the hull of the ship, making it shake uncontrollably. Sparks seemed to come from all around her and she clenched her eyes closed as sparks hit her arm.

Before long Rose got to her feet and looked down at her arm. Burn marks dotted up her arm. Only two of the marks were severe enough that they had blistered. She coughed as smoke blew down from the ceiling; she could see sparks flying from consoles all over the control room. Nearby, Brighton hit the deck hard as a console exploded in a shower of sparks and smoke. She could see smoke coming off his face as he tried to get away from the sparks.

* * *

--

Rose scrambled to her feet and went back to the console. Over the intercom system she heard Colonel Caldwell's voice. "Major Lorne, now would be a good time to open fire."

"Yes, sir, I was just thinkin' the same thing. I gave the order but nothing happened. Zelenka!"

"I'm trying, do prdele!"

"We're having a little difficulty transferring power from shields to weapons."

Rose grabbed Brighton's datapad and joined the others working on weapons.

Colonel Caldwell's voice came back on. "There's a hive bearing down on your position."

"Yes, sir, I see that. Stand by." Lorne stood up and went to Radek. "Doc, you're killing us here."

Rose found herself moved aside as Radek went to the console to check something and return his gaze to the data pad. "OK. I have it. I have it. I have it."

"Firing drones!"

If Rose thought impact from drones on the shield was bad once a few of the weapons made it through the depleted shield and impacted the top of ship the sparks grew once. Slowly the Orion limped away from the exploding hive ship.

They all saw the remaining hive ship move to start firing on the Orion. "Damn," Alisha said.

Major Lorne turned and shook his head. "Couldn't have said it better."

Frantically Radek and the rest of the team worked at various consoles as explosions went off around them. Another explosion sent one of the team flying. "Great we're all going to end up crispy critters," Brighton shouted, wincing as he leaned over a console.

Major Lorne pleaded with Radek. "One more shot, Zelenka, that's all I'm asking!"

"I just cannot give you what I don't have!" Radek moved to another console to examine it. While the teams around him began trading off and working as best they could. "There's too much damage! We need to abandon ship!"

Rose turned to see Radek try to run from the Bridge but Major Lorne hauled him back.

"Hey! Doc! Listen to me!"

Radek jerked himself free. Rose froze as she heard him shout. "We sacrificed our shield capability for our first salvo! This ship is going to blow any moment, Major!"

"Um…Alisha drop what you're doing."

"Rose…have you lost it."

"Alisha did you not hear him. Time to go!"

Alisha paused as Rose grabbed her arm and turned her to watch. Major Lorne looked around the exploding Bridge, and then activated the comms.

"Colonel Caldwell. I'm afraid we've done everything we can on our end. Request immediate beam-out to Daedalus."

"Get 'em over here!"

Rose turned to Alisha, a panicked expression on her face. "Now do you believe me? What does it take an act of God?"

"Okay I'm sorry. Not a time to argue girl."

* * *

--

Rose blinked most of them were beamed to the infirmary and it appeared many were already being treated for injuries on the Daedulus. The most severe cases were being taken first.

A nurse whose name Rose didn't know asked her, "Has anyone treated you yet?"

Rose blinked. "Huh?"

"Have-you-been-treated-yet?"

"Oh no…where?"

"Doctor!" The nurse turned back to Rose. "Sit down your probably in shock. Let's see that arm. Doctor? Mac," The Nurse turned to another man checking on various patients. "I need Doctor Phillips now. This patient may be in shock. Get me a cuff."

Rose felt too hot and sweaty. "It's kind of warm in here don't you think? Where's Major Lorne?"

The Nurse put the cuff on Rose's arm as Mac brought a Thermometer, along with a small kit of what looked like medical wraps and some kind of ointment. "I think he headed to the bridge. Mac get Doctor Phillips over here. If he isn't available get someone else."

Rose put her hand out and started to get to her feet. "I need to find Alisha."

"Whoa you're not going anywhere. Please sit. Doctor!"

Another medical personnel showed up this time, Rose was sure the long white lab coat meant he was the doctor. "Oh thank god. Doctor she's in shock."

"Then why didn't you bring her to the beds?"

"Because we don't have any more beds to spare."

Rose watched as Doctor Phillips looked over the patients in the beds. "You…" He snapped his fingers at the man named Mac. "Why is he in a bed? That's only a minor injury."

Mac responded. "He said he was feeling faint."

"And did you check on him. Is he feeling faint now?"

Mac shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Then get him off that bed. We need to move her. Are you able to walk?"

Rose looked up at the doctor and blinked. "Yea…"

Once they'd settled her in the bed, an IV was set up as well a few other things. Rose couldn't keep track as they hooked up. People were talking loudly all around her, sounds of impacts on the shield erupted and she watched a mirage of people moving all over the infirmary. She was just now realizing the pain on her arm, it had been so quick earlier that had been little time to really feel the full intensity of the pain. Rose coughed. "Oh my god it hurts...it really hurts."

"Just lay still we'll give you something for the pain and something to relax." The Doctor said before moving away from her. The nurse came to her IV and injected something into it. Before Rose could protest, she was beginning to feel the effects of whatever it was. The nurse then moved to her arm and opened a small kit with ointments and bandages.

Nearby Rose could hear someone talking with that Mac guy. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Well it's nothing she won't recover from. That burn to the arm will take some time to heal but other than that she will be okay after a few days of rest."

"How long will be...?"

"I apologize but I have other patients to take care of. Lucy would you answer her."

"About three weeks."

Rose struggled to focus and finally gathered it was Alisha. She smiled slowly before letting her eyes close.

* * *

--

**Later On - Wraith Ship**

"When this is all over, remind me to shoot you," Sheppard grouched, rubbing his neck.

"What why? I just saved us," McKay tossed back. Damn straight he saved them! If he hadn't of come up with that plan to gas the Wraith ship, they would have been out of air and dead.

Sheppard grinned. "Because you deleted my saved game."

"Oh come on. That was weeks ago besides when were you ever going to get back on the laptop to play? And besides, we're still doing that other game..."

"I know." Sheppard said hastily. "Just saying."

"Well stop bothering me and go do something useful." Rodney snapped. He ignored the annoyed expression Sheppard gave him.

They didn't want just anyone walking into their game room. Not that Rose's laptop hadn't been fun to play Half-Life 2 on but both of them had grown bored of it eventually. Rodney snorted back at Sheppard, as he began working with controls on the Wraith console.

He couldn't believe how disorganized the Wraith ship's data was and how they even operated their ship without making serious errors. His Dos comment had been pretty accurate but it had flown right over Ronon's head.

Shame the guy didn't get it. He thought it was pretty funny. Hilarious to be honest. He used his data pad to sort through some codes for ship weapons and power distribution systems. Everything seemed to be okay but the hive had taken a few hits before they had taken control of it.

He had to be sure they would make it home with enough power and air. Not that he thought air was an issue now. At least they had been able to dock the Daedulus and bring on board their water and food supply. He could only imagine where they were going to have to put all these Wraith when they finally made it back home.

There was still so much about the hive ship he hadn't even scraped the surface yet. It was a shame they got that virus and lost almost all the data about Wraith and their technology. He had to admit he was curious about why the retrovirus hadn't worked on the Queen.

Maybe it had something to do with hormones? Rodney shook his head why was he even thinking about this right now. He had to make sure systems were running in the green and never mind he had a load of other places to check and data to gather. There was also apparently one thing he hadn't considered. Wraith ships like Ancient Technology could only be flown by other Wraith. This was going to be a serious problem.

He couldn't help the shiver that ran down his back whenever he looked at Michael. It was disturbing and what was Elizabeth going to do with him? They couldn't keep him. He was Wraith so they'd have the same problem that they had had with Steve or was it Bob?

Oh he couldn't keep track of Sheppard's names and didn't care to bother with it. Maybe Elizabeth would use the retrovirus on him or...?

"Dr. McKay?" One of scientist's asked.

"Yes?" Rodney turned.

"I was wondering...if when we get back to Atlantis what are we going to do with..." The scientist didn't finish his comment but he knew what the man was referring to.

He gulped as Michael glanced the guy's way. "Just work on systems and you'll probably find out soon enough."

The man nodded, turned and made a wide berth around the bridge section where Michael was. _I need some caffeine._ Rodney thought.

--


	5. Switched 5

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 5**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

Rose groaned where was she…?

"Good morning sunshine."

"Kitty," Rose grouched and opened her eyes. They felt like dead weight. "You know…I don't appreciate being knocked out when we're in a middle of a war with Wraith. So what happened while I was comatose?"

Kitty smiled. "A lot actually. I'm still learning all the details but you got a moment?"

Rose looked around the infirmary and squinted. "Well I don't see where exactly I wouldn't have time. So sure fill me in."

She listened patiently as Kitty went over what had happened. Including the planet, the transport of the injured and sick to the Daedulus once systems were repaired and Dr. Beckett. She learned too that it hadn't been a pleasant day for those on Atlantis either what with all the suspense and waiting to know what had happened.

"You all gave us quite a scare. We thought for sure that Colonel Sheppard and the rest of you were goners."

"Thanks…I'm feeling the love."

Kitty smirked. "Yea speaking of the love…I just thought I should let you know that I heard from Rick that Dr. McKay's recommended you to join Major Lorne's team for the next outing. You're not a permanent member but at least you get to go off world."

"When exactly is this outing supposed to take place?"

"Well…I'm not really sure. The planet is kind of low on the list of priorities right now. So it might be awhile before you get to go off world. You got injuries to recover from remember?"

"Yeah…" Rose looked down and frowned at the wrappings around her arm. "So what did he say he wanted me to do in the mean time once I'm recovered and before the mission is set?"

"Not much. I'm thinking you're probably going to be back to paper work and categorizing things. Oh yea there's an object he's working on right now…which means less opportunity for him to bother you with."

"Right just out of curiosity…what type of object?"

All she got was a smile. "Let's just say it's got him holed up in his lab."

"What…?"

"Mm hmm."

Rose yawned. "Sounds interesting hey Kitty I hate to say this but I think I'm going to pass out now. Sorry but whatever they gave me it's sticking with me cold. Thanks for keeping me company and for informing me."

"No problem. I have to get back to my post. Chuck is covering for me."

"See you later."

Rose let her eyes close as sleep began to claim her. So off world mission? Her guess was the wounds would be healed by then. That was awesome. She couldn't wait. She just hoped it would not be as crazy as that space battle had been. As for this Ancient device…while she was excited about it too, she'd heard bad things about messing with them, she just hoped nothing unexpected happened.

* * *

--

**Three days later…**

John rolled his shoulders and brought the cup of coffee to his lips. After a few gulps, he sat it back down and tapped the laptop key for enter. "Rodney could you stop messing with that thing for tonight? We haven't even played the game since things went south with…"

Rodney waved his hand up in the air as he shined a light with his other hand into the center of a round sphere like object. "Yea…hey do you think Michael's alive by any chance?"

John stared at the laptop screen for awhile before responding. "No."

"I'm just saying it's a possibility."

"Rodney…" John looked up at him as the guy leaned over and pressed something on his tablet while looking at the device.

"Yea?"

"We confirmed there were no life signs. I even had a team go in and check out the place. There was nothing left. But I agree it is a little unsettling."

"Well just for the record I was just thinking out loud."

"Right…"

John looked up and blinked, standing in the doorway was Rodney's secondary assistant. "Ahhh…Doctor McKay?"

"Yea? Oh Rose."

"Dr. Keller cleared me for light duty. Just thought I'd come by and let you know."

Rodney looked at her for a moment before returning his eyes to the device. "Okay, well come in normal time tomorrow."

"Okay…" She bobbed her head at Sheppard before leaving.

John watched her leave the room. "Rodney…come on. You can get back to that tomorrow."

"But by tomorrow I should know what this thing does and how it works. Who knows when something else might come up?"

John closed his eyes. "Why don't you just have your assistant help? Where's Zelenka?"

"He's busy with other projects and Miko's helping him."

"Doesn't he have other people?"

Rodney put a tool down and tapped something on the tablet. "Yes but Miko's worked with me and Radek on projects before so when he asked I didn't see a problem with it. Besides I prefer to work on this myself."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to go find someone else to play then."

John tapped a few more keys on his laptop. He'd been playing something called Worms for awhile. It was fun but he was bored of it by now.

Rodney looked up. "You wouldn't."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows. "I wouldn't?"

Rodney crossed his arms. "Why can't you just wait?"

John shrugged. "I have another idea why don't you get Rose your other assistant to help you with this tomorrow. That's what she's for right?"

"I don't want to wait till tomorrow."

John closed his laptop and stood up. "Maybe Lorne…"

"OKAY! Jeez you're like a little kid. Fine I'll have my other assistant help me with it tomorrow. Happy now?"

John smiled. "Knew you'd come around."

"Yea yea…"

* * *

--

Rose left the infirmary and made her way to Rodney's lab. She'd informed him that she had to see Dr. Keller first before she came in because the doctor wanted to check the burn. Dr. Beckett might have normally done so but he was currently off world with another team and Dr. Keller was assigned to taking care of Rose. The burn really didn't hurt all that much. Thankfully it was mostly first degree. Only one area was superficial second degree and it was so small that the doctor felt it wouldn't cause any problems as long as it was kept an eye on.

She was grateful and relieved to hear the news. It still stung whenever she moved too much but other than that she was okay for light duty. Rose entered the lab and stopped as she caught sight of Colonel Sheppard and Rodney hovered over a laptop.

"Yes I know that but if this is what I think it is…"

"Rodney you don't even know that yet."

"Yes I know…well it looks like it takes two people anyways."

"So…?"

Rodney shook his head. "I need to monitor all the readings I can't activate it and monitor it. We'll have to wait for Rose."

"Dr. McKay?" Rose said.

"Hmm…" He turned to face her and waved her over.

"Oh Rose. Okay it looks like it takes two people to activate so while I'm monitoring I want you to put your…" Rodney looked down at her arm in the sling. "Well your one hand here and Sheppard put your hands on the other side."

Rose paused. "Excuse me…but ah are you sure this is safe I mean…I'm already kind of injured, " She moved her injured arm in the sling a little, "I really don't want to end up worse off."

Sheppard bobbed his head in agreement. "I'm with Rose on this. You sure this is safe?"

Rodney tapped something on his tablet. "Yes of course! There is no reason to think the machine will do anything to either of you. You're just activating it."

"Okay..." Rose replied hesitantly.

She walked over to the device and got on one side as Sheppard got on the other. "I really hope so Dr. McKay."

"Relax!" Rodney grouched. "Okay just give me a few minutes to check the connections."

Rose watched Rodney fiddle around on the tablet PC for a little while before he looked back up. "Okay on the count of three both of you activate it."

"1…2….3!"

Rose put her hand on the device at almost the same time as Sheppard.

* * *

--

Rodney looked over the connections. Everything looked good. He had the device hooked up properly and what he'd told Rose wasn't totally a lie. He was fairly positive that by just turning it on wouldn't make it activate. It made sense why the Ancients required two to activate it if it was what he thought it was.

He had a hunch it was some type of room recording device. The globe appeared to be made of a similar type of glass used for new security lens on Earth except it was obviously better quality. At first he'd thought it was some type of a small satellite or device similar to a Wraith probe. He wasn't that far off but those two we're quickly eliminated once he realized there was no way the device could float.

No he was pretty sure it was a room recording device. Maybe used for meetings which meant…that if that was the case there would be recorded information either stored on a disk elsewhere or contained inside the device itself. Which meant…they could see Ancients interacting almost as if they were there.

He couldn't wait! Okay so maybe he should be careful but if his theory was correct there wasn't time to waste.

Rodney looked up. "Okay on the count of three both of you activate it."

"1…2…3!"

They put their hands on the device, a bright white light flashed and they were promptly thrown across the room away from the device.

Rodney immediately tapped his head set. "I need a medical team to my lab."

He sat his laptop down before running to check on Rose. "Rose? Rose!"

Her eyes fluttered open slowly. "McKay…"

"Oh thank god. I'll be right back."

"Sheppard!"

Slowly his eyes opened too. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry I really thought it would be okay. I had no reason to believe it would do anything like this. Maybe there was a short circuit or something. It just blasted you across the room."

"Dr. McKay…this was what I was afraid of. Is my burn worse?"

Rodney blinked. "Oh Rose's burn…not that I could tell. I called medical as soon as it happened. They should be here any minute."

"Ahh okay, yea my burn. Weird I don't feel any pain from it though."

Rodney scratched his head. "Well ahh obviously no because it's Rose's burn not yours."

Sheppard squinted. "What? Dr. McKay… It is my burn."

Rodney coughed. "Ahh okay…maybe you hit your head. Rose is right over there." He pointed across the way.

"Maybe you hit your head. Why are you referring to me in third person?"

What was wrong with Sheppard? He was acting really funny. Oh god maybe he really hit his head hard. "Okay maybe you hit your head a bit harder than I thought."

"What! D-o-c-t-o-r McKay! I'm Rose."

Rodney scrubbed a hand over his face. "No, you're Colonel Sheppard. Seriously did you hit your head?"

He watched Sheppard struggle to sit up. "I didn't hit my…" Sheppard looked down at his hands.

"I don't think you should move."

"I need a mirror now!"

"The medics are going to be here any minute."

"I don't care. Get me a damn mirror now!"

Rodney picked up a piece of metal that was kind of shiny and brought it over. "Okay here's your mirror."

Across the way Rodney heard the groaning sounds of Rose. "Rodney…what happened?"

Sheppard dropped the mirror. "Oh no no no no NO! This cannot be happening. Oh my god."

Rodney turned to look at Rose and then back at Sheppard. "What?"

Sheppard's eyes rose to meet his. "Okay…let's try this again. I'm Rose Whedon. This is Colonel Sheppard's body…and I'm guessing that Colonel Sheppard is in my body. Dr. McKay…you believe me yet?"

He blinked before turning back to Rose across the way. "Rose?"

Her eyes slowly drifted up from the floor to Rodney just as the medical team arrived. "You've got to be kidding me. Rodney!"

--


	6. Switched 6

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews. I apologize I didn't know I had put this fic on complete. Rofl! Well I fixed that right away. Thanks again for taking a chance on this fic and for the reviews they make writing it worth the effort.

* * *

--

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 6**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

Sheppard closed his eyes. Why? Why him? Of all the things that had happened to him so far…why? He opened his eyes again and gave a frown as Dr. Keller chatted with Elizabeth and Rodney. When he looked over there was his body sitting in the bed next to him.

On his face was an intense frown, it wasn't too unlike him but something about the fact that Rose was now in his body made the expression more feminine than masculine. Oh god maybe he was looking too hard into this.

He looked down at his hands…err…her hands. So small compared to his. He spread her fingers out to look at her long nails. They were long for a job that required a lot of precision work in his opinion. His eyes latched onto the silver band on her left finger.

He blinked, she couldn't be married could she? Oh god…he just hoped this was only temporary. Otherwise…

John glared at Rodney as he approached the infirmary bed. "Okay I think I might know what went wrong."

"And that…" John paused, hearing Rose's voice come out of his mouth was very unnerving. He cleared her throat and started again. "And that is?"

Rodney sighed. "Well the device isn't obviously a room recorder. I think this is what it might have been intended for. But I also got something strange on my tablet screen I think it was some type of an energy surge. It could have something to do with the connections between my tablet and the device. Somehow…" Rodney scratched his head. "The electrical current could have gone through the cables and hit the device when you and Rose turned it on."

John asked shortly. "How?"

He watched Rodney shift on his feet. "I haven't figured that out yet."

"Great just great Rodney! Okay so the device was meant for this but it should be as simple as just touching it again and returning back to normal right?"

"You're forgetting the surge. It could have easily damaged the device."

John glared. "Rodney!"

"Okay okay, I know but there isn't much I can do right now. I need to get back to the lab."

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "You sure it was an energy surge Rodney?"

He looked at her with his classic head tilt glare. "Yes. I just need a little time to figure out why the surge happened and if the device was damaged from it."

"Obviously Rodney you should have researched this thing more before having me and Rose touch the damn thing." John said crossing Rose's arms then putting them down when he realized what her arms were touching.

Dr. Keller looked between Rodney and Elizabeth. "Well there isn't much I can do this is a little out of my field of science. When Dr. Beckett comes back maybe he will have more of an idea than me."

Elizabeth looked over. "How are they physically?"

"As far as I can tell as healthy as they were before the transfer. There is a slight change in brain activity but it's so slight that I don't think it's anything to worry about. However if they're going to be stuck like this for any longer than a day I will have to monitor them."

Rodney looked down and scrubbed his hand over his face. "The tablet's just crashed which means…"

Rose squeezed John's eyes shut. "Oh my god. Wait…" She opened them once all eyes were on her. "So the device must be damaged. How are we going to handle this I mean…I am in Colonel Sheppard's body and he's in mine so…are we going to tell people what happened or just keep it a secret because I don't know anything about being the head of military for Atlantis and I also don't know how Colonel Sheppard acts so…"

Sheppard sighed. "This is going to a problem. I can't exactly conduct PT and muster as Rose."

Elizabeth nodded. "Okay hold on. Rodney we can't be sure of that until you get back to the lab. In the mean time, worse case scenario you two will be stuck like this for a few days. John show Rose your daily routine. I'll suspend missions until Rodney can fix this but I agree with both of you. I think you should both learn each other's routines. Let's keep this a need to know basis which means everybody on your team, John, should know and anybody else who may need to be included in this."

Rodney snapped his fingers. "Right so Zelenka…"

Sheppard cut him off. "As much as I hate to say it Major Lorne should know about this."

"And Kitty." Rose added.

Everybody turned to look at her. "What? She's a good friend of mine I hang out with her every chance I get. She's going to know something is up when Colonel Sheppard I mean…me…when I don't show up for lunch. Besides she sometimes comes to my room to play video games and do girl stuff."

Sheppard scratched his neck. "Kitty?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah oh right…sorry…her name is Amelia Banks, formerly Wong since she's married now. She is one of the military personnel assigned to gate technician duty. We go way back. Also the girl's poker night is going to be a problem."

He blinked. "How about you not go to poker night?"

She nodded slowly. "Yea guess that would be a good idea. It's not like I really enjoy it much anyways."

"Right…so…I should probably get going…" Rodney pointed towards the doors.

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll come with you. Get Radek on this as well."

"Right…"

* * *

--

Once Rodney and Dr. Weir had made it back to the lab they'd determined that the device was damaged. The news had been radioed to the infirmary. Elizabeth had also ordered that the two of them see Dr. Heightmeyer tomorrow.

Rose put his head back down on the pillow. "Dr. Keller can we go?"

Dr. Keller walked back to the beds, standing between Rose's and Sheppard's beds. "Well I hate to let either of you go until Dr. Beckett comes back but yes. Since I have no way of knowing what kind of affect this change will have on your bodies I want you to check in with me every four hours. Dr. Weir also wanted me to remind you that both of you have a meeting with Dr. Heightmeyer tomorrow."

"Doc…" John said slowly. "Ahh…"

Dr. Keller crossed her arms. "No complaining."

John made his usual cleaning his throat sound to indicate he was annoyed but would comply.

Together they both got out of the infirmary beds. Now he could go annoy Rodney and…

"Colonel."

He turned around and found it a little unnerving to be staring into his own eyes. "Yea?"

"We should probably talk about ah…some things."

"Right so I need to know your schedule and…"

"Well that and I don't want you doing anything…drastic to my body okay?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Look I promise not to paint your nails or cut your hair or shave your legs so do me the same curtsy okay?"

He coughed. "Paint my nails…shave my legs…?" He stared at his finger nails and an image of pink nails came to mind. Then he stared at his hair and cringed as an image of chunks of hair flying off his head came to mind. "Okay obviously I won't do anything."

"Promise?"

"Yea…I promise as long as you don't cut my hair." He stared at his hair and winced.

"So um…what's your schedule?"

They both looked at each other before worry began to set in for him. What if this was permanent? What if he was stuck like this? What would happen if the Wraith suddenly attacked? He didn't want to make Rose feel bad but she was not capable of handling missions where she would have to be in charge. Never mind her firing a P-90 or flying the puddle jumper.

She'd barely been here a couple of weeks. True she'd been on the Orion but that was not firing a weapon or actually flying the ship. She hadn't even had a chance to try out the simulations for the jumper.

"Colonel. Hello?" He saw a hand wave in front of his face.

"Oh yeah Rose?"

"We should call each other yah know…by our names not…so from now on I will call you Rose since…and you should call me you know… Oh ah there anything I should know. I mean illnesses wise. Like medical allergies etc?"

He shifted on her feet. "Yea…Colonel Sheppard." He made a face. "This is just weird talking to myself."

"Well you're actually talking to me. So you're not really. Hey this is weird for me too."

He scratched Rose's neck. "I'm allergic to kiwi's but I don't think that will be a problem."

"Kiwi's?" Rose giggled and he froze. She'd just made him giggle. Giggle!

"Rose," Sheppard said and gave her a look. She paused and frowned. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah I don't giggle." In fact seeing himself giggle was beyond disturbing.

"Oh right…sorry."

"I don't apologize all the time either. Any allergies that you have I should know about?"

He watched her cross his arms. "Um yea…I'm allergic to dust, pollen, mold the usual. Also stay away from blueberries. I don't know if I'm totally allergic to them but I've had a rash from them a couple of times so…yea. Also I have to wear glasses obviously and I have eczema. It isn't severe."

"Usually I just ignore it and don't do anything for it but if you start scratching my hand and notice little white bumps than you should probably put my hand under cold water then apply the Aveeno cream I have in my night stand. Lastly, my left knee ah…"

He couldn't believe it. Not only was he stuck in a woman's body but one that had problems such as allergies. A little perturbed he asked curtly. "Yes Rose?"

She came over and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Sorry but if anybody knows I could get in trouble. I have arthritis in my knee. It's not severe but if it starts to swell you're going to need to get off it and put ice on it. Don't coddle it though. "

She backed off and he looked down at her knee. "Does Dr. Beckett or Dr. Keller know about it?"

"No please…don't tell them. I don't want to lose my job over something as small as that. It will be fine. It rarely bothers me but when it does I've learned to give it some attention but not to coddle it because the more I do the worse it gets. Mostly just don't hit my left knee on anything and it should be fine but I figure you need to know so…"

"Okay right."

* * *

--

Rose strolled down the corridor aware of how big her stride was now compared to her body's stride. How could this have happened? Of all the impossible scenarios that played in her mind she'd never really thought about something like this.

She'd wanted to be friends with Sheppard and dreamed about dating him but this…hell no. She'd never wanted to trade bodies with him. So what was she supposed to do now? Her body was alongside Sheppard's.

He looked down at her left hand before looking back up. "Are you married?"

Rose shifted on his feet. "What gave you that impression?"

He waved the ring finger at her. "Wedding band maybe?"

She shook his head. "Not married." _Not anymore,_ she thought.

"Oh okay."

"Joh…Rose um…where's erm your room?"

She looked over and down at John in her body, jeez she was small compared to him. "Here let's take this lift and I'll show you."

"Okay."

Once John took her to his room, he nodded for her to open the door. She focused and the door opened. She peered over the threshold into his room. "So this is your room."

She saw him nod for her to enter. "Yeah."

Slowly she entered; aware she was entering _his_ room. It was a dream come true. Of course it was not quite exactly as she'd expected, being as they had switched bodies. The first thing that caught her eyes was the small picture. "Is that you?"

She watched him walk over and pick it up. "Yeah that's me and that's my dad." He pointed at the older man before setting the picture back down. "So my schedule. I think its best you don't exercise with Ronon or practice the bantos with Teyla. After that…since we're not doing missions typically I check on the teams and those on the base. We have PT…Physical Training…which use to be Monday's, Wednesdays and Fridays and then I changed that to just Fridays because of schedules. All you really have to do is give out a set of commands. Since its Sunday you won't have to worry about that yet."

"As for the rest of the day. I just mostly, like I said, check on people. Make sure everybody is doing what their suppose to be doing. Then I am suppose to do paperwork after that but sometimes I just do a little since I'm not big on doing it and I spend the rest of the evening bugging Rodney if I can. Oh at lunch times I typically eat with Ronon, Teyla and Rodney if he comes down."

"Sometimes I will pull him away from his lab to eat. Or I might go to his lab and bring the lunch down there. As for dinner it just really depends on what I'm doing. If something comes up I will sometimes just grab something small to eat or ah if I'm playing games in Rodney's lab I will bring food."

"Well that's my schedule for when I'm on base and on duty." He sat down on his bed and sighed.

Rose yawned. "Okay so my schedule isn't that easy going."

"You know you can take a seat."

"Oh okay…"

"This will be your…room at least for awhile. Just don't go rearranging anything or ah messing…"

"Well if you worried I'm not interested in sneaking a look at your under wear drawer…I mean I won't, I promise." She took a seat in his wheelie chair. "Um yea my schedule is pretty hectic."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I'm Dr. McKay's assistant remember?"

He nodded then added. "I don't call him Dr. McKay. I call him Rodney."

"Okay and I don't call you or…Rodney by your first names. I always stick with professional names when it comes to my superiors or somebody I barely know. So I call you Colonel Sheppard and him, Dr. McKay. Same thing for Dr. Weir."

"Right…well you did call me Sheppard one time."

"Umm yea…Oh yes my schedule. Okay usually I get up early to get ready then make my way down to the main lab where we all have a daily meeting that just goes over progress and what needs to be done. If Dr. Mc…Rodney has anything he needs me to write down or note I usually keep a pad of paper with me or my palm pilot to make notes on. Then we all separate. The meeting lasts about half an hour to an hour depending."

"People who have missions get going and typically I go where ever Rodney goes. So if he needs me to help assist Dr. Zelenka with anything…"

She slowed as he shook her head. "I call him Radek."

"Oh right…what about Major Lorne or Dr. Weir?"

"If it's a formal mission or something I sometimes stick with Dr. Weir when it's informal I call her Elizabeth. As for him I stick with Lorne or Major depending on the situation. I don't think I will be doing anything too technical because obviously I don't have the knowledge or experience you have working with Atlantis's systems. So the rest of your schedule?"

"Well like I said it's whatever Dr. Mc…Rodney wants me to work on whether assisting him or someone else. Sometimes I don't have a lot of time for lunch because I'm his assistant. If it's somebody else I'm assisting than typically I go have lunch in the mess hall. Around 7 or 8 I have dinner usually Rodney doesn't keep me but every once and awhile he will. Sometimes he'll pull me back to work on something till 10 or 11 then I'm free to go."

"Also typically Mondays and Wednesdays I hang out with Kitty depending on whether she has night duty or not. Fridays is usually a movie night depending on everybody's schedules. Every month at least twice we have poker night or some kind of gathering. Saturday's are still a debate with Dr. McKay. He says they are a work day. Which is why I was working yesterday."

"Okay…Oh I…"

"What?"

John gripped his blankets as something that felt suspiciously like gas rolled through Rose's abdomen. "I think you have gas."

This was now the second expression he'd rarely ever seen on his face. Rose was blushing in his body. "Rose…your making my face blush."

"Sorry I can't help it."

He was about to point out that she needed to stop apologizing so much when another what could he call it? It felt like there was a washing machine cycle going on down there…it was like he was having stomach cramps except… Oh god…

He looked up and asked quickly. "Rose you aren't near…ah…your monthly…you know…thing."

An expression he knew very well pulled on his face. It was one of fubar. A military term for F…ed up beyond any repair. "Oh shit."

"So I take that is a yes." John asked.

"Yea…"

He put her head in her hands and groaned. "Why me…Why me!"

* * *

--

**A/N: ** Muahaha.


	7. Switched 7

**A/N: ** Thank you for reading and please...if there is anything that needs fixing just let me know, I welcome reviews.

* * *

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 7**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

Rose made a face as John clenched her stomach and sighed. "When…how long do I have till it happens?"

She had to repress a laugh. "Well ah…it's probably going to come sometime in the next week. It's not often I get cramps this early but it could be a combination of gas and cramps. Try taking some Motrin IB. Oh I forgot to mention that I have PMDD by the way."

John raised an eyebrow. "PMDD?"

"Yeah it's the more severe form of PMS."

"Great! This is just great!" He snapped and glared at Rose. "I get stuck in the one person that's period is coming on!" He looked down at the floor briefly, angry. Was this God's way of saying he was fubar or maybe it was some unknown force working to foil everything that he enjoyed.

He hadn't meant to be so nasty it's just he felt so awful and…oh god he was having that PMDD thing wasn't he? "Ah…"

When he looked up he saw her leaning his body against the doorway to his restroom with his back to him. "Rose?"

He waited for a few minutes and sighed. "It's got to be that PMDD thing."

"Well I'm sorry…" Sniff. "That I had to be stuck." Sniff. "In the one jerk who I thought was worth getting to know better."

He stood up slowly and made his way over. She wasn't…crying was she? Oh god just what he needed…water works. He wasn't so good at sappy stuff like this. Why had he said those things? Right thank you PMS! He thought. It was turning him into a psycho already it hadn't even started yet.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm just really…"

"PMSy?" Rose smirked slightly at him, "I wish I could just walk out of this room right now but since I'm stuck in _your_ body…I guess I will have to do this instead. Get out."

"Rose..."

"No, don't start. PMDD or not you're still a jerk. I hope your happy now."

"Rose?" He said incredulously. "You're not seriously throwing me out of my own room are you?"

"Watch me…out." Rose hooked her thumb behind her towards his door, still with her back to him.

He stared at his back then at his door. "This is ridiculous. I'm sorry that I said that…and you women get upset when we don't understand your PMS issues."

Rose finally turned around and… He saw a small smirk tugging at his mouth despite the wet eyes. "Let me guess frustrated Colonel?"

"What? Excuse me?"

Rose crossed his arms and walked over to stand in front of him, glaring. "Hmm…I take it you don't know. Okay you ever wonder why women get so…"

"Bitchy?"

"...when their near their periods?"

John shifted on her feet as he saw Rose make his I'm going to slap the back of your head stare.

"I try not to wonder…"

Rose strode till she was a few feet from him and...no head slap but his body was so close it made him...? What nervous? He let out a sigh, crinkling Rose's eyebrows. Wow he smelled good...Aqua Velva and something else? What the heck was it? "It's called a hormonal imbalance hence PMS but what most men don't get is the reason why our hormones are all over the place. With no relief in sight when we're really hor.."

The voice of the com interrupted Rose. _"Colonel Sheppard?"_

Mid rant Rose closed his mouth then closed his eyes brought his hand up to chew on one of this nails. "Uhh…I should answer that huh?" Rose pointed at the com on his ear.

John slapped his hand. "Don't bite my nails and yea you should."

"Ow! But how do I answer?"

John sighed. "This is Colonel Sheppard speaking…"

"Okay…" Rose tapped the com, "This is Colonel Sheppard speaking…"

"_We have a situation."_

"Ah what kind?" She squeaked his voice slightly.

"_Marquez and Reynolds are fighting in the hallway to the mess hall."_

Rose raised John's eyebrows while pulling the mic away from his mouth. "What should I do?"

"_Sir…"_

"You could try by responding." He watched Rose make a panicked expression.

"But what should I say?"

"_Sir?"_

He crossed his arms and blinked at her. "Figure it out."

Rose darted his eyes around the room before she pulled the mic back up. "Oh uhh…I'll be right there?"

* * *

--

John paced in Rose's body. He wanted nothing better than to give both of them a piece of his mind but he was in Rose's body and it would just make her look crazy or odd if he said anything. He had to give Rose a little credit though she managed to blunder her way into solving the issue. He scratched her scalp and swallowed some spit; he was really craving something salty.

It was the strangest thing. He was all for popcorn or chips but this was kind of unusual, of course, he reminded himself this was not his body so there was bound to be some things like that. He was craving it intensely and…he looked down suddenly.

"Rose…" He cleared her throat quickly. "I mean Colonel…I need to talk with you." When Rose turned around in his body he felt something like a wave of heat roll down Rose's back. What the hell was happening now, he thought.

"Yea?"

He had to applaud her once again she'd sounded just exactly as he normally would. "Not here." He looked around and saw several of McKay's lab assistants watching him…or more precisely his body. Every time Rose shifted his feet, he saw the lab technicians giggling and staring…at what he realized was his ass.

Not too surprised but a little embarrassed he brought Rose's hand out to stop her from shifting so much. "Come on." He was about to smile at the women then realized he wasn't in his body and dropped the grin.

As they both walked past the table he saw the women give him a nasty stare then stare at Rose in his body and smile.

"Rose?"

"What?"

"Ahh...I'm feeling something down..." He leaned over and whispered. "_Below..._"

"Well what kind?"

"I don't know...it feels ah..._wet..._"

Rose laughed. "You're blushing..."

"Am I? Okay but is it you know..."

Rose made his face smirk then he noticed the slight blush on his own face. "The only way to know is to go...look but ah I'm betting it's not period related. It's a bit too early for that." As she turned, John saw someone approaching. "Alisha...ah yes?"

Alisha gave Rose in his body a strange once over. "Colonel." Then smiled at John. "So ah…you have a minute to talk?"

Rose turned to look at Sheppard. "Ah…I'll just go ah sit down over ah...there. See you then…Co…I mean ah...Rose."

Sheppard raised Rose's eyebrows. "Yea sure…"

Alisha slid her eyes over to watch Rose walk over and sit down. "So before I get to why I'm bugging you…what's up with you and stud muffin?"

Sheppard coughed. "What?"

Alisha grinned. "He was stuttering…something going on I should know about?"

He shook Rose's head. "Ah…not that I can think of…why?"

"I've never seen the Colonel stutter. I mean he was seriously stuttering girl. Okay…hang on a sec…" Alisha put her hand up as they passed out of the mess hall.

He walked beside her, feeling forlorn. What the heck did she want to talk about anyways? And what was she trying to say? That he liked Rose because he'd stuttered? Or that Rose liked him while he was in her body so did that mean she liked him or that Alisha since she didn't know the situation thought he liked Rose. It was too confusing to get his head around so he didn't bother. And Stud muffin? He'd have to ask Rose later.

"Okay…Dr. McKay's been acting strangely all morning. He and Zelenka are glued to his lab and I've seen them grabbing tools from the main lab. You wouldn't have any idea what is going on would you?"

John blinked Rose's eyes. "Ahh not really."

Alisha raised her eyebrows. "Girl…you're his assistant PUU LEEZZEE! You know something…or has stud muffin got your mind elsewhere?"

He made a face. "He hasn't talked to me so I really don't know." He turned around. "Well I gotta go but ah…" He grinned at Alisha. "I'll tell stud muffin you said hello."

She snorted. "Uhh huh have fun. Hey…"

He walked away briskly as she was distracted by another scientist. "Stud muffin huh…" He mumbled. "I wonder…"

* * *

--

"Oh ahhh Rose…" Rose said nervously, as Sheppard made his way over to the table.

He sat down and rubbed her forehead. "I just had an interesting conversation with Alisha about stud muffin."

Rose snorted. "Oh ah..." She coughed. "She came up with it not me...."

John pointed at his body. "Stud muffin? Okay Stud muffin," He shook her head. "Also apparently she thinks you," John pointed at his body and then back to her body, "Like me. Erm…I mean I like you." He pointed the second time between them the opposite direction. "Well you know what I mean."

She shook his head. "Yea look never mind that…I…have a problem."

He cleared his throat. "What problem?"

"Well firstly I got asked out on a date with ahh…what's her name…Julia something. I only know her as one of the snobbish technicians but yeah."

He grinned. "Really and what did you say?"

"I tried to say no but she wasn't listening to me at all. So I dunno we'll figure something out."

He had to admit it was interesting. Rose on a date with a woman of course this Julia didn't know that he wasn't himself. John couldn't help the smile creeping on his face. "What was the other thing?"

Rose made him wince. "I have to go pee."

* * *

--


	8. Switched 8

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 8**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

  
_

John and Rose returned to his room, where he couldn't help feeling befuddled about the current problem. "So how are we going to do this?"

"Rose…you know how a guy does it right?" He asked her as she stood in front of his toilet looking at it with an embarrassed expression on his face.

"Yea…yeah, it's just do I have to touch…ah…you know…I mean…that wouldn't be a good idea. I mean that's not cool. It would be wrong. I don't know…ah…"

He lowered Rose's eyes. "Rose," Then looked back up into his own eyes. "That's my own body…" He paused and sighed. "Look just try unzipping first."

He really didn't know exactly how to handle this. It was his own body so there was nothing new about having to go pee it was just Rose was in his body and so she'd feel his hand on his…and she'd see what he…yea this was a lot more complicated than he'd thought.

"Okay done. I can I go grab a glove, I mean…"

John rolled Rose's eyes. "A glove? My hand has touched…ah never mind but you don't need a glove."

"But I will feel and see what it looks…like I mean we're not even dating. I mean won't that be embarrassing for you? I'm totally embarrassed right now just talking about it."

John snorted. "Well what are you going to do hold it?"

Rose groaned. "Okay…wait a minute…I have an idea."

"Okay…" He didn't like the sound of that. When women said that it always meant some form of trouble.

"Why don't _you_ ah…hold it and I won't have to touch it or see it."

He let the half smirk go as he looked up into his eyes and then down to his unzipped fly. "Rose…Okay…that means that your hand…" He waved it at his face. "…will have touched my…I don't think that is a better option."

"Oh my god…I think I'm going to wet your pants…seriously do something…I can't do this!" Rose said exasperated. "Just do it."

John looked up at the ceiling with a frown. "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

He reached over and pulled himself out then aimed it at the toilet and looked away. "Okay…go…"

He waited for awhile and didn't hear a sound but he did feel movement that was strange. "Are you even trying to go? I thought you said it was an emergency."

"Erm ah…"

John looked down and could see it getting bigger. "Oh…Rose…okay try thinking about something disgusting…" Instead of shrinking it continued to grow.

"I'm trying but…it's…ah…moving…wow…I don't think…many women can say they've ever experienced a…well you know…quite like this."

He stared. "Jeez…okay think about a cold shower that usually works for me…or ah Rodney shoveling food into his mouth rapidly…"

He couldn't believe…he'd never seen himself from this perspective…it was…kind of…arousing. Was it narcissistic to want himself? He paused that thought as he felt moistness and a throbbing down below in Rose's body. He closed her eyes…cold showers…now he needed to think about nice cold showers.

The sound of liquid hitting the porcelain brought him out of his thoughts and he opened her eyes. "Hey…you did it."

Rose snorted then grimaced. "Umm…yeah but ah…"

He stared and sighed. "I'll clean it up later."

"So um…can you put it away…?"

He cleared her throat. "Yeah…" Why was her throat getting so tight? Man…her chest hurt too. He backed up and let Rose leave his restroom once he'd tucked it away and she'd zipped. He needed to get a grip. He was a narcissist wasn't he? He was getting turned on by his own body. If he could get Rodney to fix this soon then that would probably be good, both for him and Rose.

* * *

--

Rose breathed a sigh of relief she'd finally relieved his full bladder but… She made a face at the mess. She'd urinated alright…all over the toilet, the wall, a picture frame and his loofah. Why was his loofah sitting on the toilet anyways?

She couldn't believe it either…she'd experienced... Just the thought made her blush. What she needed to do was not think about it because even if she was…erm…his body was…excited she couldn't just…relieve it…that would be inappropriate.

With being unable to relieve the 'problem' she was left with only one more choice a cold shower and that would require getting his body out of his clothes. She planned on just sleeping in his uniform so taking a shower was out of the question.

"So ah..thanks…for helping…" She turned and frowned.

She recognized that expression on her face. "So…we haven't talked about one thing yet."

He raised her eyebrows. "Oh?" She also recognized that other expression as well, avoidance.

"Yea…I know guys…ah…do stuff...to relieve stress." She made an up and down gesture. "It's completely normal it's just…"

John made a surprised look on her face. "Yea?"

"Well I just wanted to make sure you weren't planning on doing anything while in my body…"

He dropped her eyebrows. "Rose…"

"I was just worried about the curiosity factor…you promise?"

He nodded her head. "Yea…and you?"

"Of course I won't…I will admit I'm curious but I respect your privacy…and…I couldn't even take it out to go pee so…obviously that won't be a problem."

"Okay good…"

"But umm…I have to warn you cold showers won't help…in fact it might make it worse…" This was beyond embarrassing. How the hell was she suppose to explain her urges to the Colonel? This was turning into more of a nightmare than anything.

He sighed. "Suggestions then?"

"Umm…besides…well you know…not really. I've had some hard times with my…" Rose made his face blush. "Well my urges. Anyways…stay away from porn, hentai, reading erotica, thinking about anything to do with that and it should help."

* * *

--

Well he didn't know what hentai was but he knew that his day had just gone from bad to worse. So he was foreseeing frustration along with everything else, just great. "Thanks…that was helpful."

He rolled Rose's eyes. "Anything else I should know? Allergic to bee stings or…?"

He saw a smirk on his face. "Thankfully I'm not allergic to bee stings. Although…" At his expression she added. "Just kidding."

"_Rose…Rose…you there?"_

Sheppard looked down then up. Why did the com always have to interrupt? "Ahh…She…Rose speaking…"

"So are you coming are not? I've been waiting for like an hour. You did say you were coming right?"

He wrinkled Rose's eyebrows confused, covering the mic. "Who is that?"

His face's expression… "Rose…who is it?"

She strode over and grabbed the mic. "Lisa right? Rose is unavailable right now."

"Ahh…Colonel Sheppard?"

"Yeah…ah…" Rose covered the mic. "Sorry…Colonel…" Then uncovered the mic.

Lisa asked annoyed. "Can I please speak to her?"

Sheppard watched Rose clear his throat. "Rose is not interested in speaking to _you_ so stop bothering her."

"Then why doesn't she tell me that herself?"

"Because…I'm…ah…" Rose rubbed his forehead, covering the mic again. "I'm sorry to get you caught up in my affairs but ah I hope you won't mind too much. I mean you did say Alisha thought we were together possibly so…"

"What Rose what? In what? Wait a minute Rose…" He was starting to get agitated with her. What the hell was she going on about?

Rose uncovered the mic once more. "Because…she's dating me. Rose and I are dating so stop trying." With that she threw the mic across the room. "Shit."

Sheppard looked from the direction of the tossed mic to his own face. "Rose…you've got to be kidding me. I'm not dating you." At her hurt expression he added. "No offense but we really aren't dating. So are you going to tell me what is going on?"

"Yes I know we aren't dating. I just said that to get her off my back. I apologize for getting you into all of this. Lisa is…one of the women in Rodney's science department…she's been stalking me."

He blinked. "Stalking you?"

He watched his face blush. "Yea…she I guess likes me…or something…"

"And you didn't think this was important to tell me?"

"Well I thought she wouldn't bother me after our last chat…I just really thought she'd leave me alone." Rose shrugged his shoulders.

He glared. "Why didn't you report her to Rodney…I mean Dr. McKay...or me or Dr. Weir? You do realize that is sexual harassment right?"

Rose sat down on his bed. "I know it is…but it will only make me feel embarrassed. I mean if you were being harassed like that by a guy would you report it?"

Sheppard shifted on Rose's feet. "Ahh…"

"Exactly my point."

"Well it's getting late and ah…we have that meeting tomorrow so time for you to go to my room." Rose snorted.

Sheppard rolled her eyes. "Just when I thought I had everything figured out. Fine but we're talking about this tomorrow. And for the record I went pee three times already and didn't have any trouble with it."

Rose coughed. "What?!"

John smirked. "You have a small bladder what can I say?"

* * *

--

"Radek could you speak English for once. I said could you hand me that tool not yell at me in Czech."

In return Radek issued a string of Czech at Rodney that suspiciously sounded like cuss words. He had no doubt the man was calling him some very nasty things at the moment. When Radek finally winded down, Rodney rolled his eyes.

"I've had enough of _your_ attitude. I'm going for lunch."

Rodney wiped his brow and sighed. "Fine! Go get me a sandwich while you're at it…ahh…"

"What?!" Radek snapped, picking up the tablet.

Surrounding them was a pile of wires, electronic pieces, metal scraps, three flashlights, candy bar and power bar wrappers and several coffee cups.

Rodney typed something into the laptop, looked at the machine and smiled. "Radek get back here. I think I know what happened…"

"Oh really? Mr. Genius finally figure it out?"

"Ohh Ha Ha Ha."

"Now take a look at this…" Rodney handed the tablet over with the jump drive in it.

Radek looked over the data before returning his gaze to Rodney. "So if we…" He pointed at the one handle his finger tip brushing it. "We just need an external power source."

"With a little reprogramming we can get this working again." Rodney nodded excitedly touching the other handle. "Then…"

A flash of light exploded from the device sending Rodney and Radek flying to opposite ends of the room.

When the dust cleared Rodney opened his eyes to see his shoes. That's funny he didn't remember putting on blue sneakers like those the s'morning.

* * *

--

**A/N**: Just a reminder…there is no pairings in this fanfiction. So rest assured all will be well. ; )


	9. Switched 9

**A/N:** I made some changes to previous chapters. Nothing too major, just some grammar and spelling fixes. Just to let those know, who don't want to go back and re-read the chapter, Rose was previously married and hints it to Sheppard.

* * *

--

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 9**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

_

Sheppard settled down in Rose's bed. It was really comfortable he had to admit. He'd not changed into her pjs because even though he'd gone pee it had been really hard not to look and not to feel extremely uncomfortable at the thought of seeing Rose's body. So he'd stuck with taking her shoes off and removing her glasses.

There was also the matter of her burn. It was really annoying. He couldn't roll over on that side. He couldn't roll over on her stomach…it wasn't just the arm; he found it was uncomfortable because her breasts hurt from the position.

So he resolved to lay on her good side or back. They were the only positions he could do comfortably. He had to admit her clothing wasn't too uncomfortable but he'd really like to change into something like a t-shirt and sweat pants.

He gave up on it and went to her dresser. He pulled open the top drawer and froze. Undies, bras, socks various extenders, body powder and two swim suits filled the drawer. A small black bag labeled sexy little things caught his eye and another small see through bag. Curious he lifted the black bag out and opened it. Inside was sexy, black, lacy panties and different types of silk panties.

He grinned, so Rose was more than the geeky assistant she appeared to be. He put the bag back in the drawer and pulled out the see through bag. Inside were…he blinked…thongs. All sorts of thongs. How the hell did she get these on Atlantis? Everything they brought to Atlantis was triple checked.

How did women wear them anyways? He slid his eyes from the bag of thongs to Rose's hand then back again. When would he ever get a chance like this again? Sheppard shook her head. No way was he going to experiment…maybe tomorrow…but he'd have to be careful not to let Rose find out. He really didn't know what she'd do but he rather not find out.

He pulled open the second drawer after closing the first and stared. Hello Kitty pajamas greeted him. A pair of shorts and two cotton shirts and a pair of long cotton pants greeted him, all Hello Kitty. Another set of pjs called Candies shorts and a sleeveless white shirt were what consisted of Rose's pajamas. He did find some sweatpants that said Victoria secret on them and several pairs of cotton shorts but everything was…girlie. Ugh well he was stuck in a woman's body so it made sense…usually he'd sleep in his round the house type shirts and his boxers or his sweatpants but…

Sheppard sighed in Rose's body. It was kind of chilly so he grabbed a pair of black sweatpants and a t-shirt that read Submissive on it. He didn't have to take two guesses what that meant. So now all he had to do was remove the clothes put on the pjs and go to bed simple right?

He reached and slowly unzipped the top. It was a light blue long sleeve with a zipper that went all the way down. When he came to her breasts he closed her eyes and unzipped all the way. He couldn't look he was a man of honor. So he wouldn't look but how in the world was he suppose to get the bra off?

Aggravated after the fourth attempt to unhook it without her eyes open he opened them. _I can do this. Why do women go through this much trouble though?_ He thought.

The door opened behind him and he froze. "Ahh…did I catch you at a bad time Colonel?"

* * *

--

He turned around slowly, as the door closed. It was his body and he recognized that pisted off expression any day. "Rose I was just…trying to get this damn thing off."

"Uh-huh, sure you were."

"I wasn't…" He winced, her abdomen was aching horribly. "Rose…for crying out loud! I was just going to change. This damn bra really hurts. I don't know how you women can stand it."

He saw her sigh. "Okay Okay! Let me unhook it. Men!"

"Ahh…"

Rose walked over and unhooked the bra. "There see, now don't go looking. Here," Rose said, "I'll hand the shirt to you and you can put it on."

"Rose, I think I can handle the rest from here. What are you doing up anyways?" He grabbed the shirt from his hand and put it on. Then began unzipping her pants to pull on the shorts.

"Well…I got a call from Dr. Keller…Rodney and Radek have switched bodies it seems."

Sheppard froze as reached for the pants. "What?!"

"Yea…I know I said the same thing. This is getting ridiculous. Hey at least it won't be as hard for them as it is for us. I mean…their both smart guys and well both of them are guys so…not much change there."

He shook Rose's head and pulled on the pants. "By the way, you're not going to that date tomorrow. I called and took care of it before I decided on putting on your pajamas and for the record Hello Kitty is over rated even for you Rose."

"You what? You canceled your date?!" He could hear his voice hitching higher. "And I couldn't find Chococat or Skelanimal pjs so I got Hello Kitty."

He turned to look at his body. "I don't know what Skelanimal is but yes I canceled and I cleared up this mess with this Lisa."

"You WHAT!?"

Sheppard raised Rose's eyebrows. "Look I was going to report her regardless Rose. That's sexual harassment and I had no choice. I found out she was just doing it to I guess the word would be mess with you."

"You dam well had a choice. Why couldn't you just leave it alone? I was handling it. I knew she was just messing with me but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Now everybody is gunna know and its embarrassing John! I mean...Colonel."

Sheppard raised her eyebrow. "Rose," He said poignantly, "By handling it you mean using me as the scapegoat right? Look if we were dating I wouldn't have minded but we're not and there are enough problems we're dealing with here. I don't care if it was a joke. This is not some kind of a boarding house or the show 90210."

He watched as his body paced. "I…understand…but…" His breaths were haggard, and his body seemed to be a little tipsy. "I...barely have any friends here...and now..."

"Rose?"

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"You want me to be honest?"

"Yes I think that would be good."

"I think I'm having a panic attack in your body."

Sheppard went to his body's side to drag her over to her bed and sit her down. "Take deep breaths."

* * *

--

"Shouldn't we go check on them…?"

"You mean the Eggheads?" John supplied as he patted his back.

She made his face smile. "Yea…hey I guess that makes me one too."

"Not right now. There really isn't much either of us can do right now. Just breath."

He watched her get up and start pacing again. "Rose you should sit down."

"Pacing helps."

He didn't know what to make of this situation, he knew he was pist but he had to admit so far the change hadn't caused any real problems well except for the period stuff. John made a sour face.

Rose stopped. "What?"

"Oh nothing."

"No really…you made this grossed out expression. Oh man I bet it's the sweat. Okay so if we're going to be stuck like this for too much longer I'm gunna have to shower cuz your body is starting to smell…" Rose lifted one of his arms to sniff, "Yuck my…um…your nose agrees."

Sheppard rolled her eyes at her. "Yeah well Mrs. Sweaty arm pits does it look like I'm having fun here either?" He held up her arms to show her under arms and the wet stains on the shirt.

Rose turned and glared at her face. "It's called Italian blood okay. It's not something I can control."

"Uhuh."

The silence stretched and he watched Rose pace slow. He yawned, wondering what he should do now.

Sheppard shook his head. "So…" He really shouldn't ask but…oh hell why not? His eyes wandered to her dresser drawer. "How did you get some of those things through?"

"What things?"

Should he really be asking her this? It was kind of embarrassing but ah hell he was having cramps and he felt like shit. "Thongs…lingerie…and that black bag that says pyrex on it."

He watched his face blush again. "What…you…you…you…!"

"I what?" He said innocently.

"You went through my underwear drawer?! I thought we agreed it was off limits!" She made his voice high pitch as she said off limits.

He had to keep from laughing, it was kind of funny. "I was looking for the PJ drawer and I just happen to open the wrong one."

"Fine then...that gives me free rain with your underwear drawer then."

Sheppard blinked at a loss for words.

The radio crackled again. "Rose you there?"

He cleared his throat.

"Oh my god! It's Kitty. Look just answer her okay. Man she's gunna know something is up. Wait didn't she get informed about the situation?"

He tapped the com. "Kitty?" He said hesitantly.

"Hey…um…I heard the situation. Just got told by, strangely enough, Dr. McKay. So I'm guessing things are kind of crazy right now. Do you mind if I come down to speak to Ro…err…you?"

Sheppard cleared his throat. "Sure…we're in her…my…quarters." It was his turn for his voice to squeak at _my_ quarters.

"Yes Sir…I mean ma'am…see you soon Rose."

Relieved he put the mic back down. "Its not very often I see or hear Banks act so…" He couldn't think of the word.

"Girlie? Bubbly?" Rose supplied.

"Yea," He said, then he remembered something, "Weren't you going on a mission once your arm heals?"

Rose bobbed Sheppard's head. "Yup…in about another week when the doctor has cleared me for it. Amelia was gunna come along too. I have to admit though I've been on the Daedulus I'm a lot more nervous about going through the gate and everything."

"I ordered Banks to join this mission. She needs off-world time. As for the mission," He thought about it then explained, "You'll be protected by Major Lorne's team and I think we may even rondevu with you guys later in the day. Well that was the original plan until this little," He lifted Rose's hand, "shindig happened."

"Wow I've never heard you use that word before."

"Okay...?"

"It's just is all weird. Wait how did you know about the…?"

Sheppard smirked. "I may have had a small hand in the decision."

Rose smiled. "Thanks, I didn't think I'd get to go off world for a long time."

A soft knock brought both their attention to the door. Sheppard cleared Rose's throat. "Come in."

A 5'5 fairly skinny, Asian woman that he recognized as one of the gate technicians under his command entered the room. "Colonel." She nodded her head respectfully.

Then she turned to Rose in Colonel Sheppard's body, "So…how's ah…" She nodded her head toward's Colonel Sheppard's body.

"Amelia…it's not something I really want to talk about right now."

Amelia bobbed her head. "I can understand that. So why aren't you in the lab?"

Sheppard explained. "Dr. Weir thinks it would be better if we weren't involved with what's going on. I couldn't be much help anyways."

"Yeah but…" Kitty gave a sympathetic look.

Rose chimed in, "I know what you mean Kitty. You don't even have to finish that sentence. Seriously how long are we suppose to sit by and do nothing? I'm a computer expert. Well sort of, otherwise McKay wouldn't have brought me out here to be his stupid assistant. I can help with this situation if he'd let me. I'm not some little pet he can shove in the corner when he feels like."

Sheppard was about to add, as he stood, that she probably like the rest of the team wasn't allowed to help because McKay thought he could do it on his own. Also she had a burnt arm in a sling and it wouldn't be very unproductive to try and help. That's when he felt a wet sensation down below and this time he was pretty sure it wasn't just…the usual stuff.

He frowned and looked up at his own body. "I'll be right back," quickly he went to Rose's restroom.

With disgust etched on Rose's face he pulled her pants down and panties. Wonderful! There was blood on the white crotch of the flower panties. He grabbed teepee to dab it up and wipe away the blood that he could feel. He sat down on the toilet before reaching for a cabinet nearby and he found two boxes. One was clearly tampons and another was clearly pads.

Okay, he thought, tampons was out of the question, but now pads…he could do pads. He pulled open the package and grabbed one. Opening it he looked at it. It was long with wings and had paper covering the sticky parts. Okay he'd been married once…he'd seen his wife do this at least a few times.

He just had to remember how. He knew the long part went on the crotch portion and the wings somehow folded under but which direction?

He tore the paper off the sticky portions and applied it. The first one he ended up somehow twisting it and the damn thing stuck to itself. The second one he got a wing stuck to it and the other wing stuck to itself. The third one in his haste dropped onto the floor, sterile pad directly on the dirty floor.

John knew it wasn't a good idea to apply a dirty pad so he got another one. After the fifth attempt he was starting to get agitated quickly. That's when a soft knock brought him out of the space case he was currently drifting into.

"Colonel?" It was his voice.

"Yes Rose?"

"Are you okay in there?"

"Ah…" What could he say? No? It was a yes but Banks would hear and…this was sooo embarrassing, seriously!

"Kitty left by the way so its just you and me. So what's the problem?"

John sighed, well it was either continue attempting messing it up or ask Rose how. "Looks like um…period started…" He choked out period, he could feel Rose's cheeks flush.

He heard a small snort from the other side of the door before she responded. "Okay get a pad and put it on then."

John looked down at the pad in his hand. "Yea ah I've been trying and every time I get the pad out it either gets stuck to itself or does something else as equally annoying."

"Do you want me to help put one on for you?"

John blushed truly, have his hand put a pad on? Hell no. No way… "No no…I'm good. Just give me some directions…"

He heard a chink sound and watched the door open. "How did you...?"

Rose smirked. "Computer technician, McKay's assistant that should explain everything."

"Right..."

"Okay wow...this is weird but no weirder than you helping me pee in your body. Look I was just joking okay here…"

He stared in shook as his hand snatched the pad from him. "Rose…"

--


	10. Chapter 10

... **.LV.** ...

**Switched**

**Part 10**

by _Lady Valmar_

* * *

"Don't give me that look. I'm not going to put it on. I'm just gunna explain and then you can put it on."

"Okay…"

She didn't understand men at all. It wasn't that freaking hard to put a pad on was it? Rose thought about it for a bit as she pulled off the sticky portion. Well she'd had some difficulty in the past but… "Rose?"

"Oh yes?" She blinked at him.

"Do you mind ah showing me already so you can go into the other room? Oh man…"

Sheppard winced and then made a horrified expression. "What the hell…"

Rose blinked and tried hard not to laugh, she could see red.

"This sucks. I don't think I could stand this every month. I'm going to kill McKay if he doesn't fix this soon."

"Huh, looks like a wall must have fallen out," Rose remarked.

Sheppard looked up at her and said flabbergasted, "A wall? That's not the kind of thing I want to hear Rose!" When he sneaked a peek into the toilet he closed Rose's eyes, disgusted. "Oh gross."

"Oh well I apologize…it's just that's the truth."

"This is disgusting." Sheppard grabbed a wad of teepee. "Do you mind?"

"What?"

"It's embarrassing. Just look somewhere else."

"Oh for heaven's sake that's my body. I've seen this all before…repeatedly much to my dismay."

"Well I'm not wiping till you look away."

Rose rolled Sheppard's eyes before crossing his arms and turning around. "Well hurry up."

"Gross..." He grumbled.

Rose smirked and said cheekily. "And this is why women have babies and men just provide the soldiers. Seriously men are such sissies. Are you done yet?"

"No, this is horrible and don't even get me started about the mood swings."

"Yeah well us women endure once a month what you men have twenty-four seven."

"Ha ha very funny. Done."

Rose turned back around, "Okay look this is how to apply the pad you hold the wings with your index and thumb, being careful not to let them stick to each other and lower this direction down onto the crotch of the panties." She gestured with her hands for him.

Sheppard nodded. "Okay now what…"

"Take the wings and wrap them around the edge of the crotch. There you go…and you're done. Congratulations you learned how to put a pad on."

Sheppard rolled Rose's eyes. "Thanks."

"Oh yea make sure to keep an eye on it sometimes I flood when I'm having a heavy period."

Sheppard nodded merrily before he looked up and frowned. "Wait…what? Flood?"

"Yeah you know the pad." Rose gestured with both his index and thumbs together going opposite directions like a string. Then she added with a splashing gesture, "Blood everywhere."

"Oh right thanks, that makes me feel a hell of a lot better." He said sarcastically.

"Well looks like I've got a small errand to run thanks to Kitty but I'll be back. There's ah some Motrin in the bedside table if you need it. I also have those heat patches if you want to put it on your abdomen to help with the cramps."

"Mm…" Sheppard said with a miserable expression.

"Man this is soo awesome…no cramps…no mess…hell no pmsing…Well anyways see you later. Have fun!" Rose said before walking out of her room.

* * *

Sheppard couldn't have been more miserable, he felt like shit, it hurt just walking and he had a severe craving for something salty again. Giving up on going anywhere, he popped two motrin and lay down on Rose's bed. "Well I guess it can't get much worse."

"Sheppard?"

John reached for the com. "Yes…?"

"This is Rodney."

"Gee you sound different."

"Ha ha look I don't want to discuss the how's…I need you to come down to the lab."

"Okay…why?"

"I think I might have a way to switch you guys back."

"Oh thank god." Sheppard ran a hand through Rose's hair. "I'll be right there."

* * *

Rose chewed on Sheppard's nail absentmindedly as they waited for Sheppard to arrive. This could work and it could also backfire. "Rodney are you absolutely certain about this I mean…what if it doesn't work what then?"

It was unnerving to speak to Rodney who wasn't Rodney at the moment. He spoke hesitantly, "Well…it's better than being stuck like this," He gestured to the body he was in. "There is always a chance it will not work but Rodney seems certain it will."

"Yes yes. Now can we just get this over with? I'm getting tired of being stuck like this."

"He should be here in a minute. I will get the machine prepped," Rodney's hand gestured to the machine.

"Yes yes…then we can change bodies. You haven't had any lemon chicken today right?" Rodney asked.

Radek crossed Rodney's arms. "Of course not. Why would I subject your body to it when I'm in it?"

Rose brought Sheppard's hand up to grip the handle…just as hell broke loose.

* * *

Atlantis's warning sirens went off just a second before they all heard the sound of gunfire.

Rodney tapped Radek's radio. "What the hell is going on up there?"

"Wrai…th…" Static followed by the power suddenly shutting down.

Rose turned to look at Radek's body. "Rodney did he just say Wraith. You've got to be kidding me right?"

"Apparently not, okay without power this thing is useless. Radek I need you to high tail my butt up to the generators and figure out what happened."

Radek nodded Rodney's head before he disappeared out the door of the labs. "So now what?"

Rodney turned to look at Rose before tapping the com. "Sheppard come in please. Ronon? Anybody?"

He got static and the two of them exchanged worried glances. Then a voice responded. "Rodney?"

"Oh thank god. What the hell is going on? I heard something about a Wraith?"

"Yea…so far it seems to be only one. What about the power?"

"Radek is working on that part while I'm trying to get this device ready. Where are you?"

"Headed to the gateroom. I'm going to find Major Lorne's team."

Rose blinked. "But he can't do anything in my body. Seriously they don't know do they?"

She tapped the com. "Sheppard get back down here. If it's just one then you should let Ronon and the other people take care of it. You can't do anything in my body right now. Rodney thinks the device is ready in say like a minute or two. Once we switch back you can…"

* * *

"Rose? Rose?"

All he got was static and that was never a good sign. Sheppard cussed and turned around with his hand gun ready. He'd stopped by his quarters and picked it up. She had a point there was nothing he could while he was stuck in her body.

So he made his way back to Rodney's lab. So far it looked like things had gone from bad to worse in just a matter of minutes. How the hell had the Wraith gotten on Atlantis in the first place?

Wherever it came from there wasn't much he could do in the mean time. Right now he just had to get to that lab. Hopefully the radio trouble had nothing to do with the Wraith or if it did then…

Well he didn't know what he could do but for starters getting back into his own body was the number one priority because he couldn't do anything in Rose's.

He heard shouting as he approached and raced to the lab's doors. Just as he approached they swung open as Radek's body went flying into the wall. Damn.

He peered around the corner. The Wraith had his body cornered in the room with its back to the device. Sheppard entered and began firing on it. Instead of falling down or going forward the Wraith turned and ran towards him, knocking him to the floor.

Its fist drew and he took a punch to his face. Well that wasn't normal for a Wraith was it? Didn't they usually just feed? His mind processed it briefly before he was pummeled with more punches.

"Sheppard!"

He heard running and the next thing he knew his body was on top of the Wraith trying to pull it off him. It growled and hissed before throwing his body off. Sheppard managed to twist away from it, though still pinned and he looked for his tossed weapon. He could see it near the device. He reached for it as again the Wraith tried to pull off his body.

Good for Rose, she was doing well…sort of. That was until the Wraith tossed his body against the wall. Sheppard managed to grab the gun only to have the Wraith punch his arm, making him drop it again. It began to choke him before he could do anything more. He reached up to stop it and saw red eyes.

It hissed at him and opened its mouth…fangs showed instead of the usual spiky teeth he was use to. That was weird. A large chair came crashing down on the Wraith's back knocking it off him but it didn't seem to be phased beyond it letting go of Rose's neck for a minute.

Dazed, Rose's eyes drew to where the sound of something clinking was. Sheppard blinked it was a crystal and had a blue glow coming from the center of it. He tried to punch the Wraith aware his gun was too far for him to reach.

It snarled at him and pinned his arms down. He tried to kick it but its grip was too strong. It opened its mouth and again he saw the large fangs. "What the hell are you?"

It grinned before leaning down, going for his neck. He brought his head forward slamming it into the Wraith's forehead.

He didn't have time to consider what else to do. Rose's body just wasn't as in shape as his was…he tried his best to kick or get it off him but it was a losing battle. It was determined to rip his throat out.

-

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter will probably be the last. This will probably be part of a series so expect more.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:  UPDATE -02-05-09-**

I have updated this last chapter fixing some storyline portions that sounded incorrect to me. Its hasn't been changed a whole lot but enough to make it easier to read. Cemel Dosce is the sequel.

* * *

… **.LV.** …

**Switched**

**Part 11**

By _Lady Valmar

* * *

  
_

Rose shook off the impact and looked over. The Wraith was on top of her body and it looked like it was going to…bite her neck? She stumbled to her feet looking around for Sheppard's gun. She had to get to it that was the only way she'd be able to help him. She had taken mandatory basic training on the 9 mil but she wasn't sure how good of a shot she was. Still it was better than nothing right?

She couldn't see where the gun was but she did see some kind of orb looking object lying near the Wraith. It was small but it looked like glass. It would probably hurt if she bashed the Wraith in the head with it. Well she wasn't Jackie Chan but hell she could smash a object on somebodies head.

She blinked that was exactly what she could do. She got Sheppard's body up and stumbled to the orb just as she picked it up she could have sworn she felt warmth and a electric shock. That was never a good sign but she didn't have time to ponder whether it was a bomb or some kind of mind altering device, now just wasn't the time for her imagination to run wild.

Momentarily confused, Rose shook Sheppard's head and blinked rapidly. Hopefully the Wraith was distracted. She reeled back and slammed the orb down into the Wraith's head, shattering it into pieces. It seemed to do the trick, stunning the Wraith so she could kick the Wraith off her body. It took two attempts and finally Sheppard managed to scramble away from it.

The shattered orb had left glass stuck in Sheppard's hand but it was a small price to pay for her losing her own body and Sheppard too. There wasn't much she could do but at least the thing wasn't choking her bodies' neck anymore. The last she needed was to get stuck in Sheppard's body for the rest of her life. Just the thought was enough to get her looking for the gun while Sheppard grabbed for a small soldering tool because it was the only other thing that was available for him to use on such short notice.

Before either of them could reach the gun or aim at the Wraith it recovered from the impact and knocked his body again into the wall before it made another attempt to reach the device. There was no way in hell Rose was going to allow it to take the device. It was her and Sheppard's only chance to get back to their own bodies. She made a grab for a box of tools before the thing could reach the device and she lugged the box at the Wraith. It hit its side and despite not having much of a dent in his projectory the lovely box had chosen to open. Many different metal tools, including a hammer, fell out cascading down to the floor and hitting several parts of the Wraith on impact. The hammer, comically, had chosen the Wraith's foot as its final impact to the ground. It did the trick and the Wraith howled in agony. Sheppard found the gun before the Wraith could recover and shot off several rounds, nailing it in the torso.

The Wraith seemed like the first shot was far more painful than they'd seen other Wraith react. It turned and Sheppard shot the last of the clip into it. It looked down at its chest before bolting out of the room. Both of them traded looks before Sheppard took off in her body after the thing, trying to reload with a new clip. He'd put it in Rose's pant pocket. He made chase after it.

At one point the Wraith pulled up one of the dead plants that the botany department hadn't gotten to yet and tossed it at Sheppard. He'd luckily missed and Sheppard continued his pursuit. Whatever the hell this thing was he wasn't going to let it leave. He heard the sound of Ronon's gun go off as it whirled past him traveling towards the Wraith. "Ronon!"

Ronon shot off three more blasts and they all hit but it seemed to not even phase the Wraith. By the time Sheppard had loaded the clip after having avoided several plants they were all on a balcony overlooking Atlantis. "What the hell is this thing?" Sheppard shouted at Ronon as they skidded to a stop in front of it.

Ronon leveled his gun with the Wraith. "I don't know I didn't ask!"

If that didn't sound like a joke Sheppard wasn't sure what one was. "Funny." It turned and hissed at Sheppard. He aimed the gun and shot it until the clip was empty. It looked very weak, hopefully this was it but it was still standing. He could hear footsteps echoing. Hopefully that was backup on its way.

It grinned. "Ue detra." Then it howled.

Both Sheppard and Ronon winced and backed up a little. "What the hell are you!"

It laughed. "Whet ue _Lamirn_." The last word it strung out a little bit.

The footsteps grew closer in the background. "What the hell is that?" Sheppard said.

"Atlanteans puea humon." Then it pressed a button on its chest. Both Sheppard and Ronon exchanged glances.

"Uh oh," said Sheppard.

It laughed again and behind materialized a modified Wraith dart outside the balcony. Sheppard said modified in his report later because it was black not purple and it had what could only be described as a red scorpion tale. As both Sheppard and Ronon looked on shocked, the Wraith climbed the railing and jumped into the open pilot's seat of the ship before they could stop it. Ronon fired more rounds off but it didn't seem to do a bit of good at all. Behind them something flew into the ship following the Wraith and Sheppard looked behind him. It was Major Lorne with a remote detonator. He pressed it just as the ship cleared Atlantis's highest tower.

It exploded in a shower of sparks, metal, organic flesh and other materials. "Lorne!"

"You alright sir?"

Sheppard glared. "Good job Lorne."

"Why thank you sir."

Sheppard brushed off Rose's pants just as the power came back on. "How did you know…?"

"Ronon radioed said the thing was headed to Rodney's lab."

"I thought the radios were out."

"They were but they came back up after some tinkering."

He nodded before they walked back to the lab where his body was getting up again. "Oh man that really hurts…"

"Rose?"

"Sheppard…what the hell was that thing?"

"I don't know…"

Major Lorne shrugged. "It looked like it was it on something earlier when it tackled a security team."

"What it looked like was a vampire," Rose said. Ronon and Sheppard exchanged glances.

"Vampire?" Ronon said confused.

Rose made Sheppard's face blush. "Oh um…it drinks blood. Has fangs. Um…"

Sheppard sighed in exasperation. "Think of a fruit being drained of all its juice except it would be blood. At least with vampires you just you get some cool theratrics like Underworld. I still haven't seen the second movie Underworld: Evolution."

Ronon's eyebrows rose. "And these vampires…do they exist in your galaxy?"

Rose shook her head. "No its just a myth but I guess that means if you haven't heard of them then…"

Lorne shook his head. "I don't know what it was but I have to admit it looked kind of like a Wraith that was a vampire if that makes any sense."

"Great now we have vampires to contend with? If you ask me it sounds more like a bad joke." A voice said outside the doors to Rodney's lab. It was Rodney in Radek's body and he was being checked out by one of the medical team.

"Ouch watch where your poking!" Rodney grouched.

Sheppard shook Rose's head. "Well Rodney that bad joke nearly snapped your neck so I wouldn't put it past this galaxy to have something like that."

Rose moved Sheppard's body moved over to the device. "Well I think it wanted this." She pointed Sheppard's index finger at the device.

Sheppard nodded Rose's head again. "I think so too."

Just as they turned Radek's body moved into the room. "What happened?"

"Radek a little late isn't it?" Rodney said sarcastically.

Radek only frowned before turning back to the device.

"Um a vampire Wraith tried to jack the device. You okay?" Rose said.

She noticed Sheppard raise Rose's eyebrows a little and frown. She suspected that the rumor he liked to name things and got upset when he couldn't wasn't a rumor at all.

Radek nodded Rodney's head. "I've been worse."

They stood around for a few moments as Elizabeth radioed and they explained what had happened.

Rose crossed Sheppard's arms and winced. "I think I got glass stuck in your hand…ouch…now it decides to hurt…"

Sheppard made Rose's face frown. "Rodney is the device ready?"

"Oh yea…let me just check on it to make sure it's not damaged. Hopefully the energy spike that Radek picked up didn't damage anything."

Just as he checked the connections Elizabeth showed up. "Okay it's ready."

Rose went over and put Sheppard's hand on it. "I don't know about you but I just want to be back in my own body already."

Sheppard nodded Rose's head before stepping over to touch the handle. Instead of flying back into the wall this time, the light was minimal and he blinked.

"Thank god!" Rose looked down at her hands before looking back up. "It worked!"

Sheppard nodded. "I'm going to need to get this glass out of my hand."

Elizabeth looked around before radioing Carson. "Carson we need a medical team down here."

Then turning to Rodney's body she asked, "Wait a minute…Rodney you said some kind of energy surge occured? I mean Radek."

Radek smiled then nodded Rodney's head. "Yes the ship that was detected on scanners before the power went out had some kind of..."

"Yes yes...an emp on board or a Wraith err...Vampire Wraith equivalent," Rodney added slowly brushing off the medic's hands.

"Should he even be standing?" Elizabeth asked.

The medic shook his head. "I tried telling him that but he won't listen."

Just as Beckett arrived with three more medics and a stretcher, Rodney appeared to be having a staring contest with the medic. Rose breathed in and looked at her hands. "Well whatever that thing was I just hope that was the only one."

Ronon checked his gun as Sheppard and Lorne exchanged glances without saying anything.

Rodney checked the machine before looking up."Time to change bodies."

"Right and I get stuck with concussion."

Radek made his way over to the device and touched it, returning them to their own bodies.

Rose rolled over on her side; apparently being able to walk didn't mean she was going to get out of staying in the infirmary over night. Dr. Weir, Dr. Beckett, Sheppard's team mates and Major Lorne were all in the infirmary.

Lorne, Rodney and Ronon had all been checked out. Radek had to stay for his concussion but everybody else was here mostly to discuss what had happened.

"What was that orb?"

Rose sat up. "It looked like some kind of Wiccan ritual item. I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a distraction or if it was a miniature emp. I just don't know."

"Could we please stop calling it 'Wiccan ritual' item?" Rodney said crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

Elizabeth rubbed her temple. "Just the thought of the damage it could have done near the device."

Sheppard looked over from the infirmary bed. "It's disturbing." Rose gave Sheppard a poignant stare.

"No offense but I like my body and being stuck as a woman for the rest of my life well…I'd really rather not."

Radek put his glasses back on after the nurse had finished checking on his head wound. "Did you say orb?"

Rose blinked. "Um yea it made Sheppard's body tingle and it felt warm."

"Tingle?" Lorne said. Everybody chose to stare at Rose.

Rodney snorted and looked discreetly away.

"Rose what do you mean by tingle?" Sheppard asked.

Rose narrowed her eyes at Rodney. "For those dirty minded no...it was not some sexual experience trust me," At sexual experience everybody shifted uncomfortably in the room. "It just felt weird. Like his body was being exposed to ultra violet waves or something like that."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "I wasn't referring to that. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Rose said slight guilty. "Well I didn't think it was important at the time although it did seem odd…"

Elizabeth looked worried. "Carson did it do anything to Sheppard?"

Carson came forward with the results from the scan. "Not to worry I ran scans on everybody including the Colonel. As far as I can tell it had no effects so far but I'd like to keep Radek, Sheppard and Rose for an extra day to make sure that it didn't anything more than that."

"So why did it want the body switching device anyways?" Rose asked out loud.

Rodney shrugged. "Its possible it may have wanted to switch bodies or that it had a similar device that got destroyed and it somehow got stuck in a Wraith. In any case the better question is how did it find Atlantis?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "It seems odd, Rodney I want this device checked out thoroughly and then sent back to the SGC."

"But…"

"I want to make sure no further _complications_ come from it." She stressed complications.

"Major Lorne did you see the Vampire Wraith's eyes and fangs?" Rose asked Lorne.

"I did…"

Rose grinned. "See the name fits…Vampire Wraith."

Sheppard added. "We can name it later. By the way did we find out what Whet Lamirn means?" Sheppard said, looking back down at his palm pilot.

Ronon shrugged. "Whatever it was its dead now."

"I was just thinking that its possible that the beacon placed on the device, if there is one, linked up to the…Wraith's ship."

"That was a weird ship," Lorne said.

"Looked like it had some kind of advanced shield and cloaking device in addition to the emp, perhaps." Rodney said.

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Let's just hope there aren't more of them."

They all exchanged worried glances again.

* * *

**A few days later…**

Sheppard sat up in bed and blinked. He felt so nauseated, it must have been the aspirin he took before bed, they were probably making his stomach curl. He got up and went to the restroom and filled a cup, he had, full of water.

As he turned off the faucet he looked up into the mirror the bruises on his face were beginning to fade. He reached up to touch a bruise and recoiled. His eyes suddenly changed color for a second.

John blinked and peered into his eyes checking for what he thought he'd seen. Nah it couldn't have been anything could it? He was probably just tired but on the safe side he might go see Carson later. He really hoped the orb wasn't responsible if it was there wasn't anything they could gain from it, it had pretty much disappeared once it had shattered.

As he sat down on his bed with the glass of water, he took another sip before setting it on his bedside table.

"Hello John."

He looked up. "What the…?"

It was another version of himself except his irises were blue and he had fangs. Sheppard reached for his gun and aimed it at the other him.

"Relax, your just dreaming."

"That doesn't make this any less weird."

"Yes and while you are dreaming...I'm very real…I'm just in your head. Call me your conscious."

Sheppard frowned. "So my conscious has fangs and neon blue eyes?"

"I am the real you, the part of you, you didn't even know existed. You've just awakened John."

"Right…"

"We are Lamirn. It is what we are. It's not whet. Whet means 'we are' in Lamirn. The orb altered the Lamirn gene in you. It is no longer dormant but you are not turned either. I guess the term would be dunpeal but even that wouldn't really fit what you are."

Sheppard cocked his gun. "That sounds ridiculous. So if you are a dream then I guess it won't matter if I shoot you."

His other self put a hand out. "John...John," the other self said shaking his head then smiling. "Yea it is true, I can't be killed. I'm a part of you but why would you want to do that? The best way I can explain is we can only communicate in your dreams. I'm really just the Lamirn gene given speech thanks to your subconscious."

Sheppard shot off two rounds and watched the other Sheppard look down. "We've got a lot of work to do." Wisps of smoke formed from the bullet holes and the bullets seemed to be absorbed into his body.

"Oh really?" John said still aiming his gun.

"Yes well actually you've got a lot of work to do."

"So why are you here if you're me?"

"I guess this is your mind's way of coping with new information after all you're not a full Lamirn. But I think you will find, in time that life is going to be a hell of lot different for you John."

"Dream or not..." Sheppard said without finishing and emptied the clip into his other self. Each time a bullet passed through it absorbed into his other self's body, leaving only wisps of smoke.

The other Sheppard shrugged. "Satisfied? I told you John."

Sheppard looking a little deflated lowered the gun, unsure of what to do next.

"See you later John Sheppard. I expect we'll meet again tomorrow night perhaps."

Sheppard blinked. "Wait…"

The sound of his alarm woke him up. John sat up straight up in bed and looked to the spot where his dream had taken place. He swallowed some spit before scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Weird."

As he checked his watch he realized he had little time to dwell on his dream, he had to get ready they were going to a world where a supposedly famous medicine mad resided. Honestly it sounded more like a hoax than anything else.

_Fine_


End file.
